Breaking Free

6-15-12

The pressure closes in

Making it hard to breathe

Pushed far below

Where no one can see

My arms flail

My legs thrash

But all I hear

Are distant waves crash

I feel them all

Pushing me down

Fight to live

Or simply drown

The light far above

Is where I want to be

I’m going to live

Even just for me

I push back

And start to rise

As I ascend

I close my eyes

I break the surface

And also break free

From the pressure

That was holding me

Reviews

[emipoemi]

Very solemn and profound poem. We all strive to break free from some dark place. Your only awkward line is "are distant waves crash" given the wording would turn "crash" into "crashing"....however, it's a trivial error that can be easily fixed by replacing "all" with "just" to create "But I just hear" and "are" with "the" to make "The distant waves crash". No harm done to the musicality and you've smoothed out the only crease in this poem. Well done!

[Relic]

Pressure often puts in a position of drowning in worries and despair. I like this for its positive ending. Good rhymes in this too. :)

[A. Amos]

This was deep and simply awesome read, last above lines you have nailed it my friend...