He Cant Be Dead

one week ago....

I can't believe this. No , this is not happening. I had my hand clutched to the chair in front of me. I felt like vomiting as the images flashed before me , blurring along with the scene I saw now. No , he--he can't be.

Mothers voice sounded faraway but her hands touch on my knee burned. "Are you okay? Maple?"

My breath came out heavy , gun shots to my ears. Blury eyed , I stared at the warped face in front of me. "No. He can't be." I whispered , not wanting to say the next word but I do anyways "Dead."

And that is when I fell over off my chair and onto the floor. "Maple!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now......

We got home from the store and I did the same as always. It was my addiction. I felt mothers eyes on the back of my neck as I marched my way up the stairs.

I went straight into my rom , jumped onto my bed and recieved my remote for the dvd player. Then , quickly , I pressed play.

There he was. Sweet sweet Lyle. He was smiling into the camera. "Maple! Your here! And , your uh , camera?"

The happier me laughed in the television , grabbing his hand. "Well , its Susans birthday. Why wouldn't I bring it?"

He ran his hands threw his caramel hair , his dark brown eyes dancing in the camera. "Give it here."

Instead of waiting for me to toss it to him , he took it , zooming in on my flushed face and perfect smile.

I cried right there in reality , pausing the tape. I screamed into a pillow , grabbed a knife and shredded it in half , feathers flying. Then I ran into the bathroom , lock the door , turn the tub water fully to hot and I jump in , not caring about my clothes. My skin tingled in pain untill I was numb , sweat dripping down every inch off my face.

The knife. It was the last thing that could serve me delicous pain. I press it hard into my wrist , slowly dragging it up my arm. I smile as the water swirls with red. Beautifull. Just beautifull.

Dear Lyle
See you soon
Maple