DONALD RETURNS HOME TO PROTECT AMERICA FROM HIS ENEMIES

Donald has cut his European tour short and hurried home from Scotland to battle the Mexicans and the Canadians

                                        DONALD GOES TO EUROPE

                                                  Act Three

                                        HOME AGAIN, HOME AGAIN

                                                  CURTAIN UP

DONALD has to return quickly to America, which he left unprotected to take a trip to Europe. He is upset, because he fears invasion by the hot blooded Mexicans and the cold hearted Canadians, his two worst enemies and the greatest threats to America...MELANIA does not share his 

concern.They are aboard Air Force One.

M:Donald, I still don't understand why you are so worried. Canada is not going to attack us. Neither is Mexico.

D:You don't know what you're talking about, Melania. They just act all innocent in front of people.The Mexicans hate me!

M:Yes, Donald, now they hate you, but they didn't feel that way until you started calling them bad names.

D(appearing shocked):When did I ever swear at them in one of my speeches?

M: In the speeches, maybe once. But at home and when you're alone in your office with Jeff Sessions, that's all that both of you do! It was the same when Steve Bannon was here!

D(with a dismissive wave)That's private. No one is allowed to find out about that!

M:How do you explain everybody knowing about everything you say?

D:Insanely good guessing. I hired a bunch of new people, same thing.I wish I hadn't had to fire those folks;especially Steve. He was gonna take me to this awesome meeting with only white people. 

M(rolls her eyes):Anyhow, how about Canada? What's wrong with them?

D(in amazement):What's not wrong with them? Those syrup-slurping sissies are all against me!

M:What nonsense; name one--and not Justin Trudeau. That would be cheating. It is a given.

D(triumphantly):ONE? I'll give you FOUR! Samantha Bee,Tommy Chong,Jim Carrey,Naomi Klein...shall I go on? Cuz I have, like, a billion left, Melania!

M(in exasperation):Donald, you couldn't possibly have--never mind.Donald. Just leave me out of this one.

D):You'll be sorry, Melania, when I don't invite you to see me get an MBE!

Author's Note

Just don't shoot the messenger, man...

Reviews

[Ken Simm.]

I just love the idea that Joe Biden painted all the White House Mirrors orange and Trump thought he was a Vampire.
The old Chinese insult, 'May you live in interesting times'

[angel]

I bet Pres. Obama wishes he'd thought of that!
Hey, Ken, the last guy who said that to me called it a Chinese BLESSING!

[Ken Simm.]

Nope definitely an insult. Inscrutable these fellows you see.

[Coyote Poetry]

I don't pay attention to Donald. He is the lone and the only. I hope we survive his term. A interesting write.
Coyote

[Lorry]

Well, apart from slapping tree juice on their pancakes, the people of Canadia are in my all time top three people,along with the Swedes and the Japanese. I have not once ever heard a Canadian start an argument, and basicslly I think he's just jealous because Canada looks like America with a maid service and less garbage and guns, and now it is a herbal friendly nation....i think its my favourite of all time.
I don't know much about Mexico, but on the down side, its all cheese n beans, but on the plus side, sombreros are awesome (sorry Mexico, but I never forget and you beat Scotland in the world cup once)
I wonder what shenanigans awaits the orange one next. I vote for Donald going for a haircut :)

[angel]

That could be fun...he could talk with the barber, piss him off, and...let me write that down, thanks, man!

[angel]

He just hates them in general. He's mad at Trudeau...and until recently he thought that Canada was still under English rule...evidently, even the French part. Info on one reason here:
https://www.npr.org/2018/07/10/627271410/why-president-trump-hates-canadian-dair

[Chris Shaw]

I am enjoying your Donald and Melania sketches, particularly this one in the setting of Air Force One. I knew about his issues with the so called Mexican invasion, but does he feel that way about Canadians too? He certainly provides much material to write about angel.

Chris

[wordman]

stop talking bout my friend donald,,we play golf together

[angel]

Ah, you're the blind guy; he always beats yo, cos you can't see him cheat, and let's face it, man, golf is simply not your game!

[wordman]

well actually the closest i got was a caddy bout ?? years ago when i was 15 got drunk and turned over the golf cart,,lol but i like ole trump

[angel]

Was he in the golf cart? And did he land on his head? Cuz that would explain a lot...

[wordman]

lol,u know he`s the best we ever had

[angel]

Maybe you, man, but not me. I loved Jimmy Carter , and Barack Obama!
I still like you, though.

[wordman]

u have bad taste except liking me,lol