king khaos

he sat on a great wall ... then SPLAT!

king khaos

'order! order! ORDER!'

'THIS MEETING WILL COME TO ORDER GODDAMNIT!'

'it will NOT come to order!'

'we will not be thrown under the bus!' 

'and WE will not be OVERSPOKEN by a bunch of roaring mice!'

'i am the national emblem and you will respect me so!' 

I AM EAGLE 1!'

'and WE ARE A MAJOR FOOD SOURCE!' 

'... that carry many deadly virus!'

'and you are a barnyard reject!'

'SILENCE!' 'ENOUGH!' 'SILENCE!'

'and who elected you NAPOLEAN?'

'i am not a brutal diktator!'

'that's NOT what the NY POST reads.'

'OH BOOHOO! FUK THE POST!'

'bunch of mandy pandy DEI fuks!'

'and here we go again'

'khaos and mayhem per usual.'

'who said that?'

'me'

'and who are you?'

'it's me sir, raul

i sweep i mop the floors

senor.'

silence was the sounding

'thank you'

'POINT of ORDER! POINT of ORDER!'

'WHAT THE FUK DO YA WANT NOW?'

'is that 2 cheesburgers 'all he way', 3 grillcheese with pickles, 

4 chili cheeze fries, 

1 LARGE ONION RINGS!'

'KETSUP!'

'and ketsup ...'

'NAPKINS!'

'napkins'

''WE ARE NOT DOING THIS! IT'S MY WAY OR NO WAY!'

'ok ok OK!' 

'16 dozen BIG MACs with EXTRA FRIES, PICKLES

extra napkins 

and 1/2 gallon 'secret sauce' on the side!'

'will that be all?' 

'an EXTRA EXTRA LARGE DIET KOKE!'

'that will be ...

'1 BILLION, 7 HUNDRED MILLION, 

76 HUNDRED THOUSAND! 

EVEN!'

'cash or debit?'

'CREDIT!'

'sorry sir but YOUR credit 

AIN'T NO FUKIN GOOD HERE MR POTUS ... SIR!'

'SEE? SEE? I TOLD YA, THEY ALWAYS CALL ME SIR!'

'man do i ever need a monument of ME!'

'the SMITHSONIAN called to say 

your 'golden man bidet' will be delivered today ... sir.'

'i so like it when a plan works.'

'did ya hear them call me sir?'

'NOW ... WHO ARE WE GONNA CONQUER NEXT WEEK?'

'ANYONE?' ... 'PETE?' ... 'JD?' ... 'little MARCO?'

'LEGOS! SIR! LEGOS!'

'LEGOS?'

'they are a FAR-LEFT opportunity of the ANTIFA! ... sir!'

'GODDAMN DEMOCRAPS!'

'but they make great music videos about you sir!'

'WHO?'

'LEGOS!'

'the ENEMY from within?'

'no sir they are DANISH.'

uuuuuuuuuuuuUUUUUUUMMMM!

PASTRIES!'

'no sir ... like they own GREENLAND ... sir.'

???

'GET NETTY ON THE HORN! WE GOT ANOTHER WAR TO WAGE!'

Author's Note

ain't this year a fukin barrel of monkees?

Reviews

[lauren]

Hi!
I just read your story, and I’m obsessed! Your writing is incredible, and I kept imagining how cool it would be as a comic.
I’m a professional commissioned artist, and I’d love to work with you to turn it into one, if you’re into the idea, of course! I think it would look absolutely stunning.
Feel free to message me on Disc0rd (laurendoesitall) if you’re interested. Can’t wait to hear from you!
Best,
Lauren