Am I who I think I am?

I used to know how I felt,

who I was, who I wanted to be,

I was sure of my wills,

and liked to people for just being me.

My depression started,

I wasn't aware of it,

but soon I was faking smiles,

that a whole city could lit.

I convinced myself it was faking,

But I wasn't certain of my mood,

I changed from being hyper to dropping sharply,

from being nonchalant to misunderstood.

I've come to realize it all was fear,

fear at being judged and left out.

That lead me to losing myself,

and to not telling my feelings out loud.

Author's Note

hope you like it, review,please. I'd be thankful if you could review what I can improve.

Reviews

[F.Gentil]

That is the tragedy of life, its a beautiful thing that you are so young, and able to see past the facade of the illusion of what living is. I hope you remain uniquely yourself. This is a beautiful write, and the under toning message is a battle EVERYONE experiences....Some succumb to it...Others, like yourself and I defeat it. Beautiful poetry, my friend.

[Tahitia Foggie]

Another awesome poem, I appreciate your realness.

[A. Garcia Sagarra]

Thank you :)

[I Am Svetlana]

My, how scary judgement can be on one or merely the thought of it! It can be a very deadly thing and can send a person on such an emotional toll, a quick downward spiral. Most of the time, no one can see your inner thoughts and how you feel, but depression can definitely make you shrivel up and want to forget every bit of who you are. I suffer from depression as well, though I never knew until a few months ago, but always had the notion and knowledge of it in the back of my mind. "Fakir smiles" would be the perfect way to describe it. Simply beautiful!

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the thoughts and journey you took me with in the poem. We learn wisdom when we accept ourselves and know what we need and want. I like the ending. We must be fearless in life. Better to have tried than to have wished you did. Thank you for the excellent poetry. I like poetry that open the door to thoughts to ponder upon. Your poem did.
Coyote

[SyberRose]

Nicely done...its good when you can feel good in your own skin...as that comes i think with maturity...Rose:)