Splinters

Written in May 2008.

 Adolescence is characterized

by self discovery and definition,

but when she looks within her heart,

searching for the answers

she’s told are there, all she finds is:

 

            bits of torn and knotted string holding air,

            shattered glass reflecting fragments of shadows,

            torn pieces of paper covered in nonsense,

            smoke filled lungs, itching for the next breath,

            dirty puddles and an empty building

            supporting the sign:

 

condemned

Reviews

[Nicole Renee]

I thought this was really good; I liked this part:

"bits of torn and knotted string holding air,

shattered glass reflecting fragments of shadows,

torn pieces of paper covered in nonsense,

smoke filled lungs, itching for the next breath,

dirty puddles and an empty building..."


-Nicole

[Brandon]

Nice, were all just so effed up. I am scared to look deep in my heart, I might find the same thing.
Cheers,
Brandon

[Linis Arizen]

I liked thsi alot.

I like how in under the line it kinda gives you that feeling of searching for reason but finding nothing but dead ends.

[Robert Luna]

Beautifully written and conveyed. We are all tattered and torn in some way and some shape. Those are the battle wounds and scars that let us know we are but humans and remind us of past mistakes, lessons learned. Some are great at hiding theirs from a judgmental society. I personally wear all my scars like proud badges of honor as I gaze upon them it reminds me of what I have lived through and what i live for. I truly loved this as it made me think about the world and my involvement in it

Well Done!!!!!

[*~Imperfectly Me~*]

"she's told are there all she finds:" This part doesn't makes sense to me... This was a great piece... I loved the images you have in it... Great Job!

[Ralphy]

I like this write. The correlation between the title "Splitters" and ending word "condemned" tied the poem together. I love the descriptions that filled the scene as it walk me through building. The person occupying the build as it reflects their life. Thanks for sharing it with us.

[Sarah]

This is dark and beautiful. Great job describing the darkness and deserted workings of this girl's mind. Very original. I love the line "torn pieces of paper covered in nonsense" Gorgeous. o=