Defeat

 Desperation-

     searching blindly

     in a desert of doubt, 

     loosing cohesiveness

     as my body goes too long without.

 

Too long without water

     Too long without life

          Too long without inspiration

 

Desolation-

     it's been so long 

     since I've been able to think.

     My head is an ugly place,

     unfit to walk through late at night,  

     and yet I find myself trapped.

 

Too long surrounded by doubt

     Too long scared that I've lost myself

          Too lost to find my way back out.

 

Defeat-

     This is supposed

     to be what I'm good at,

     what gives me joy, 

     and keeps me sane.

 

Instead I haven't written anything in months,

     and each day the voices get meaner and my spirits weaker

          until I'm convinced that it's a lost cause...just like me. 

Author's Note

...I haven't written anything in so long that I became convinced that if I didn't write something today and post it that I wouldn't write again for months and might not ever post anything again... but it's pretty self explanatory... so what do you think?

Reviews

[Nicole Renee]

I know how feel because this is exactly how I felt (and still kind of feel). I feel as though inspiration and determination has caused me to loss hope in my book The Silverlight Chronicles : Eye of A Faerie Tale. So I'm taking a temporary break from it. But when I wrote about how I felt about not writing a lot, two of my friends gave me advice. Go to http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/Elizabeth_Rose/276772/ (it's kind of a few weeks old now...) and read the advice. It'll help. :]

-Nicole

[Linis Arizen]

I like this while it covents its own dark sad tone to it.

I can't help but agree to what this says. Defeat is something that I'm known to happen to myself aswel. I cant remember the last time I had a..."victory"

But, a lost cause?
You?
I don't think so.

Everyone has some reason for exsisting.
We just don't know what it is yet.
But one day, we'll figure it out.

Again, another great read of another great writing -smiles-
-hugs-

This is just my opinion though.

[huma]

I think all artists have felt this way at one time. I see inspiration like an ocean sometimes tide in sometimes tide out...

[Jim W White]

That's incredibly open and self-dissecting. Can very much relate to that feeling.. head rattling to the point where body is affected. Insomnia, confusion, frustration and doubt. It's horrible but somehow quite right.. that is, I often think moments like this indicate a real creative flow.. the ability to objectify mind and to question everything inside. Important part of the write (for me, I should say) is, "this is supposed to be.." I often wonder where we get these ideas from.. ideas of definition and meaning; significance. Sure enough we do.. but then sometimes the rug gets pulled.

[MandarinOranges]

I can relate..although I can't seem to write anything because I feel great right now. I dunno, guess I'm just weird like that.

But you have definitely proven here that you ARE a talented writer. Good job.

[Sarah]

This is a beautiful, dark poem that proves -even when you haven't written anything in a while- you can still whip out something amazing! I envy that talent. (: I really loved the lines, "My head is an ugly place, / unfit to walk through late at night, / and yet I find myself trapped." Beautiful comparison. Great job!

[Silent Kim aka mizmetap..]

I think I know where your head is at. Been there. I could relate to this write well. We get lost in an abyss of thoughts that nothing comes out. Your flow is free and the words flow. If you cease to write more it would be a lost. So write on.

[Robert Luna]

Hell Yeah!!!! That was great. I loved the lines

My head is an ugly place,

unfit to walk through late at night

One of those lines I wish I had wrote myself. I always love to read your words as I find them so perfectly written and thought provoking within myself. This is going into my favorites.


Great Job!!!!!

You found inspiration on your writers block, and came up with a great piece :)

Look inside you, you have so much wisdom waiting to be imparted, bless everyone here with your insights, you will be surprised at your potential.

You have always been a wonderful writer, and will always be. Light up the room

[*~Imperfectly Me~*]

Wow, I think everyone can relate in a way to this poem, it's very good... You're not a lost cause don't ever think that... just sometimes our muse's just go on a break... I know mine has in a way... Well actually all three of mine are fighting and i'm about ready to snap... This is well done and of course it's amazing... Hopefully you will get out of the funk.... To not be able to write is to not be able to breath... The air is there yet some times our lungs refuse to work... don't give up!

[Brette Medb]

I too have felt the same pain and worries. This was a great form of expression and I loved the part about the mind not being a safe place to walk through at night. I hope you regain some of your inspiration and your mind clears.

Brette