Based on a True Story

brief, sort of creepy thing I wrote for my gothic literature class. The scariest thing I could think of was my ex-boyfriend.

I flipped off the light, but before my fingers could leave the switch I heard a noise that stopped my heart. A chorus of screams. Shrill and distant, just outside my window. With a jolt I quickly relighted the room. My heart raced in my chest. I turned, half expecting some ghastly spectre, but the room was empty, as usual. I turned again to the switch on the wall, and sank below the covers in quest of the sleep I so desperately needed. Before a moment had passed though I heard a low, familiar chuckle. I sprang from my bed and turned to meet the source of the disturbance. In the eerie glow cast by the tiny light on the front of the smoke detector, which suddenly filled the room, I could just make out the figure of a man standing inches from my face. I would have started, I would have gasped, but I felt myself suddenly struck with paralysis, unable to scream or step back, face to face with this nightmare. In the moments of silence that followed his image became seared into my consciousness. Green eyes, framed by harsh, livid shadows stared back at me out of a face sickly white, like candle wax. His lips were withered and pale, His skin stretched back with the effort of an unpracticed smile that sent shivers racing up my spine. "I know, I look different." With the low, hoarse voice came the hideous smell of hot blood, pouring down into my face. His eyes sank for a moment, then came back to meet mine, "You haven't changed a bit."

Author's Note

This was not well received, but I'm putting it up anyway because public failure is kind of my thing. Anyway, I don't write scary things, generally, so this might be kind of lame.

Reviews

[Jake Donald Stephens]

Gothic literature class? Sounds interesting.
I like the way the little red light from the smoke detector suddenly filled up the room.
I don't get it though. Is he a zombie or something? Or does it represent how he is "dead" to you now?

[Elle Thompson]

it was the best, so much blood and Lovecraft and epistemological uncertainty
Eh, I guess I was just thinking about how when you like someone everything about them is charming and endearing and then when things go sour everything about them is suddenly repulsive. he could be a zombie, he had a predatory quality about him.

[A. Amos]

Like your start if you could provide more detail, like who the man or shadow was it can be good story. You are good story teller that is for sure..thank you for sharing your work