Giving up

My feelings are exploding,

My emotions, my sight, my breath

It's unloading.

My pulse is rushing, my face is paling,

My feet are running,

My voice is wailing.

A calling for help, a calling for need.

A scream, A gasp, whisper,

Slowly turns into a pleed.

The sweat is dripping, 

it's pouring, falling.

My grasp on the earth is slowly stalling.

I'm getting tired, I'm really worn out.

I'm giving up it seems, no doubt.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Very good flow of description. I could feel the world falling apart in the strong statements. Life is odd. When things go wrong. It seem like all things fall apart. I like the strong ending to the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[Apatheia]

Thank you. :) Im glad you liked it.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Hi Apatheia, A nice little somewhat folorn piece. It flows well for the most part but might benefit from more crafting to make it excellent. A simple suggestion would be
My feelings are exploding,
My emotions, my sight, my breaths
are unloading.
The final two lines might need to be tweaked?

[de_maruf]

well furnish

[Steven Cash]

This seems like a movie scene

Boss Mode Hannah

[Aehr]

wow, a lot seems to be going on here! well expressed, and good word-choice. awesome description. as a whole - simply amazing!
:)

[Apatheia]

Thank you so much :) I'm glad you liked it.

[Aehr]

and I'M glad i read it! :P

[Daliah Valley]

Wow. That's strong. Like she saiid, it has great rythm. It is wonderful.

[MachinaWriter]

I liked this. Very good rhythm. Probably one of my favorite one's I've read by you, but I'm not sure why. Oh, but one little thing. Its a "plead" not a "pleed". Other than that, it was a good read. As always, I eagerly await more of your work. ^^

[Apatheia]

Thank you so much, and I'm not the best with spelling. >_

[MachinaWriter]

That's what editors are for. Writers are there to be creative, not to be spellcheckers lol