Lonely

Dark in my mind, I am alone as can be

I will not tell a family soul

and no one will love me.

I will cry alone on the inside

and scream on the outside

but forever i will be alone

Alone so much that i won't go home

This is finally the day i admit

I am so insecure and need to get better

but until then, iam alone, a total feather in the wind

ALONE

Author's Note

This is in fact a rough draft

Reviews

[Ben Taylor]

The
"Alone so much that i won't go home"
Didn't seem to flow as well as the rest of it (just my personal opinion).

(And also, grammatically speaking, it should be "I am so insecure and [I] need to get better")

It wasn't bad, but you may want to try and refine it a bit. It seemed a bit crude and "rough draft" ish.

Nevertheless, the emotion is conveyed well and I enjoyed reading it. :)

[Ashley]

some things are difficult to read. this piece was for me. and not because it was poorly written. on the contrary, i found it so human and dark that i felt your words. and your pain. and the overwhelming loneliness. very well done with so few words.

[deeps]

short, vivid and to the point. I really enjoyed this piece.

[Shardbearer99]

I really liked that. Even though your picture shows you being really happy, smiley and cheery on the outside, it doesn't neccessarily mean that that's how you feel on the inside. It's a mask, to hide how you truly feel. When I was at school, I was the unpopular one. I was bullied, called names, picked on. It really sucked. I always tried to be friendly towards my teachers and my small group of friends, but it was really difficult. And that's when my problems with anger started, I guess. I just felt so lonely all the time. It wasn't the happiest of times for me, being at school. But your poem was very good and gave a clear insight into how people read each other's expressions. Great work; keep it up.

[highthought]

i dont buy it
u re prety, smily and funny
how about that

[Jeff]

Very dark and melancholy.