The Words That Lingered Would

“You!”
With topsy-turvy weights

That pull the fairness down,

We judge the past mistakes

Of what we’ve done with false renown.

It’s easy now to take what’s said,

To turn the thick to thin

And tend to just forget the time

Before we fought to win.

Now burdened by our viciousness

Of course, we don’t complain.

We find it much more easier to shoot

Than care what aim. 

And while we spend the time we have

To swear upon a name, 

A toxin runs amongst the blood

That courses through the vein,

And what we say regurgitates like vultures in the sky

To portion up the letters in a fickle fathomed try

A line of words that spill right out;

A mouth of bile, bitter fuel,

“You!” was always just before the worst that could ensue,

A ruined voice that quivered quick

Was to receive an ear,

The ear I held in earnest for your

Words I wished to hear.

Like rapture for the ravens 

I listened fast, I listened still.

How subtle did the key, it come,

And gone without a trill?

You’d leave the last word hanging on me

Just to know you could

As much as “You,” could dare destroy me 

The words that lingered would.

Reviews

[emmajoygreen]

'And while we spend the time we have
To swear upon a name,
A toxin runs amongst the blood
That courses through the vein,
And what we say regurgitates like vultures in the sky
To portion up the letters in a fickle fathomed try
A line of words that spill right out;
A mouth of bile, bitter fuel,
“You!” was always just before the worst that could ensue,
A ruined voice that quivered quick
Was to receive an ear,
The ear I held in earnest for your
Words I wished to hear.'

Start to finish attempts to fine meter near 100%.. Your emotions throughout shouted and wept, each segment.. and long, reaching me with fear for what you've experienced. You haven't been destroyed, dear woman, you have roared into being, fought a horrendous foe yet come out strong as strong can be. Your writing displays that brilliantly. No destruction for you, aprilrayne. You've won but haven't yet realised it. Please see the light in your poem, is there, proud to be noticed.