Of Teddy Bears

Be gentle with your teddy bear

For he is old and tired.

If your drop him too far

or play with him too hard

A teddy bear no more he’ll be.

Be cautious with your teddy bear

For he is angry and big.

Go and hide under your blanky

and ignore his roars

for a loving bear soon he’ll be.

Take care of your teddy bear

For he is lazy and sore.

If you’re late with his water

Or a carton of cigs

A teddy bear no more he’ll be.

Be wary of your teddy bear

For he is cruel and cold.

Let him not find you under blanky

Or your war game will turn real

A peace maker soon he’ll be.

Take care of blanky

for she is soft and strong.

Play with her often with love

and though you test her power

a blanky always she’ll be.

Author's Note

I don't think this is a sad poem so don't be sad. I think it's more of a loving one, through all this blanky will protect you :) Please tell me about the flow and overall appeal. Thanks

Reviews

[Bradley]

After the first stanza I realized this was no ordinary teddy bear. By the third stanza I started thinking the bear represented an alcoholic parent. Your choice of metaphor really stressed the unpredictability of the situation.

I love that I got more out of your poem after the second read. The second time through your blanky references really popped.

Regarding flow, the first "A teddy bear no more he'll be" tripped me up a bit, just because most of the language up to that point is plain English, and that line isn't usual word order. The second time the line comes it flowed nicely because of the rhyming of "sore" and "more." That's all pretty darn nit-picky, though.

Overall the message you send is clear and the choice of metaphor is excellent.

[Imara]

Oh thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it so much. I'm really bad with rhyming so sometimes I cheat and swap the language like that but I felt it had to rhyme to give it a more child like feel since all the representations come from childlike items. Thank you so much again for the review :)

[smilempsn]

I liked the flow of poem.. The tittle itself showed it will be around teddy bears...
Mostly what I didn't liked was 2 and 4th para :P .... Because, you just make cute looking teddy bears scary.....wuuff... Thank god I got Blanky tonite..!! :)

[Imara]

Haha I had to make him scary, the teddy bear is a metaphor for an abusive parent. Who may be loving sometimes and then evil the next and the blanky is the one person who is always there to protect, love and support you. haha

[smilempsn]

ohh like that aa... Sorry didn't thought it that way :)

[Imara]

Haha its poetry feel free to interpret it how you want. I like that you have an innocent view on it :)

[smilempsn]

^-^

[Jayden Ireton]

I enjoyed this poem. Everything is set up well as usual :). I thought of the teddy bear and was brought to childish times. As the poem went further and the teddy bear had mood swings it made me think of an abusive relationship.

[Imara]

I'm glad you got the point of this poem! It is about an abusive relationship that a little kid is experiencing (hence the childish metaphors). I'm glad that you got what I was talking about. Thank you for the review :)

[Just Kim]

I think it's touching, nicely expressed

[Imara]

Thank you :)

[Surbhi Khandelwal]

nicely penned... :)

[Imara]

Thank you ^^

[fireblossom]

I found this to be a sweet poem though is balances on the edge of metaphor describing relationships... I am a boy at heart and chose to be a boy in the reading. :-) Well done.

[Imara]

Thanks for the review. Boy or girl I'm glad you like it :)

[Luke L]

interesting piece, very touching, it kind of reminds me of feelings I had towards my stuffed animals as a child really personifying them.

[Imara]

Thanks glad you liked it ^^

[Luke L]

you're welcome

[Mik Zeal]

I am not much of a poet but I like the symbolism. The bear is the outsde world and the blanky is home, it's your safe place. This can easily turn into a horror story, it certainly gives me some ideas.

[Imara]

Thank you :) I'm glad you liked it. I'm not much of a poet either. I'm glad my point got across, it's really about evil people who can turn on you in a second and the that one person who will really be there for you. But it works all the same :)