Mayfly Ballad

A new hope has arisen in the galaxy for the Rebellion. The ultra-draconian Emporer shall not stand for much longer against the Jedi and their light side of the force!

Mayfly Ballad

 

Her aura glistens like a star

Her cheeks have dimpled lure

Such supple, shapely curves there are

The soul is choice and pure

 

With every tooth so perfectly

Aligned and shining bright

Each kiss a shard of Heaven be

Each word a dance of light

 

My heartache, woes, and strife have passed

Now love and friendship reign

The worst day that we shared surpassed

The unrelenting pain

 

Reviews

[J. Hampton]

ooooo...she is so Pretty.

This is beautiful in tone...content ...I respect a ballad ( i cant make them work)
and the font is perfect...
I must admit the description threw me oh so way off ?

I am touched by this line...

"The worst day that we shared surpassed
The unrelenting pain"

Gabe she will basically ...swoon ( do we still do that ? )

Blessssssssss

[Alessander]

Robert Frost once said that a poet should only be allowed to say"beautiful" 5 times in his career, but aparrently that does not incude critics lol...maybe they should elaborate on what is so...moving.

[Haruki]

Such a beautiful poem and such a pleasure to read!

[Bill Grimes Jr.]

This is excellent in every way. The flow, the choice of words, the sentiment.......well crafted indeed.....Beautiful poetry Gabe.

Peace,

Bill

[lori c]

,,,each kiss a shard of heaven be,,,oh my. how utterly romantic ! lucky lady to have such words penned about her. don't know as i swooned per say, but i certainly was taken back a few centuries to a time of such flowing, sensuous words, oh so sweetly done.

[Travis Lawrence]

This reminds me of Wordsworth, or Coolridge. When I read this, it flows like The Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner.

Again, great imagery, and the last two lines are awesome. They really convey the immense strength of the emotion in the poem. Well done!

Have a nice day!

[[untitled]]

Knowing the story behind this poem I think you have done a superb job in describing your loved one Gabe.
Your stanzas emit love and tender affection, also appreciation for one with such a pure and humble heart. I hope she has this in her possession.
Nicely done...
Cheers,
Helen :-)))

[.]

Ah, very cool words with this lovely lady :) Indeed, very beautiful words for a very lovely beauty :)

Mikey

[*~Imperfectly Me~*]

Ooooooo............ how sweet...... Awww... I swooned lol.... It has a great flow to it and it was so easy to read. I love the whole poem but my favorite part was "The soul is choice and pure" I'm amazed with your writing.... Great job!

[The Random Writings Of ..]

Interesting piece, I love the font. The words are beautiful and flow right into each other. There is an innocence about this piece that I adore.
Beautiful write
xoxo

[Nicholas Hallows]

This is very beautiful. I love your rhymes and rhythm. It flows perfectly. NH