Courage?

This was created when I grafted two of my older poems together.

Rainwater tastes like tears

and feels like freedom

as I stand in the rushing darkness.

Fire splits the coming night

as I, once torn, realize

there is no safe haven, only a hole

stuffed with feathers to feel soft,

a place to go so I'm not alone

and you could leave tomorrow.

 

I 'd still stand here, daring the storm,

daring . . . God.

You could leave tomorrow.

I stand, daring God.

 

The rain comes down

in a mist at first;

then it is sprinkling,

the drops fat and cold.

Before I know it,

it is pouring,

and soon I realize 

that this could be a hurricane,

and if the wind gets much higher,

things are going to fall.

Author's Note

Suggestions welcome.

Reviews

[miamia]

Full of Emotions using great metaphors

[The Mad Prophet]

Not much needs suggesting. Very well done, very well expressed. I like the Daring God myself. This is prtty good, great job.

[T]

Love your writing!! I don't want to change a thing..

"You could leave tomorrow.

I stand, daring God."

filled with powerful emotion!

[Angel's Lady]

I like it just the way it is...even the title! Wonderful meshing of emotions and what a powerful message you so very simply, almost silently, put across. Great job.