butterflies

Heart is racing at the thought you

absolutly lovign all that you do

when you my way i almost die

my chest is attacked by butterflies

 

I wnt to tell, but then I don't

love me back im affraid you wont

but if you did what a wounderful bliss

shared everytime we exchange a kiss

 

Yet here i am just wasting time

and all i want is for u to be mine

but till the day i stop the lies

ill sit with hope and butterflies

Reviews

[Yaooooooo]

Interesting.
I think you need to fix the way you lay it out.
Try to brake up some of the sentences, its a little hard to read the way is lay out.
Just a few thoughts, i like the idea behind the poem, but it looses its feeling cause the way is lay out..
Keep up at it...
Thanks for sharing and do get discurage.
One last thing, dont apoligize for your writting, is your thoughts and they should always be right no matter what others think. The way i see it is that if a person takes their time to leave a comment, you made a differnce in that persons life. You affected them with what you had to say, wether it was a good effect or bad effect thats not important.
Let the reader make up their own mind about your writting, take the comments and use them to your benefit. Dont get mad if someone doesnt like your work, everyone had a difference choice in reading just like some people might think you preaty others might think youre not.
My point is to take your comment out about the poem being bad and let the reader decide..
One!

[Roger Ferguson II]

XD is this about me?
^_^ awww how sweet
XD j/k
nice poem ash ^_^