Digressing:

1. I have no time for anything these days. Running around the hospital, I find myself in all kinds of flurry of emotions: stress, grief, anxiety & happiness. I am selfless & all I care for is to provide happiness to someone else, even if that leaves me out of the equation.
2. New Years Eve waiting on the porch with a cigarette at hand waiting for your return.
Wanting to feel your essence flood my body. You found me five minutes later with a pack of Newports in your hand & joined me in celebration. How delightful.
3. The disparity of the winter came in full force the very night me & him fought for hours. I cried all night in my car while a couple next door made love in the backseat of a Chevy. That's when I learned that nothing is as bad as it seems & yet, I digressed.
4. Summer was concentrated on him,him, & him. Part time hours & smooth transitions throughout the day. I felt alone & your absence felt like pure agony. Lucas' new job was to wipe tears, while I thought of the next time I'd be able to bring sunflowers to your new apartment. Selfishness brewed for the both of us.