Bees & Rabbits

This is something I’ve been working on in my head for a while. I thought I should move past posting my writing, but it doesn’t seem right to leave these pieces in my head or my notebook

The bitter air is becoming frequent
Hallowing deep in this throat
When you have a million things floating in this mind
The thoughts on who one is drowned out by the flood of:
What is tomorrow dos?
Should I eat again?
What email needs to be sent?
Should I sign off with my full name so it’s more sophisticated or Alex to show practicality?

In essence, the despair of do’s overshadows life’s happiness
And moments of simplicity become overwhelming tiresome
Thus, the hollowness only grows deeper you see?
Driving grows into mini sessions of replaying conversations from 3 months ago
Research in the lab becomes overbearing when songs play at moments of fragility (I accidentally fucked up the chuck and now I’m listening to this? Great)
Charting at 5 AM has me questioning about the future & whether that’s here or somewhere else
(But please, let it just be somewhere)

And when you compare now & then
I prefer now
As I do then
Cause I’m not half the person I was
And it only makes sense that the things that I used to care about then
Don’t matter now

But, f**k; how they creep back in ways I’d never had believed

(I used to wear a shirt with rabbits on it from a band I never liked, now I have a bee tattooo that symbolizes my favorite song of theirs)