Paper Chromatography

During the worst semester of my life

While playing with paper chromatography and diluting solutions 

I found insight in my lab partner, currently my best friend

I would listen to her social and sexual experiences

Wondering how love is so finite and temporal 

Unbeknownst to my friends, I would walk home knee deep in the mud 

I would fall onto my floor to finally recollect 

I would listen to the voices in my head to fall asleep 

That this is how time goes by 

And that was the solution to everything painful, correct?

Four months of complete solitude, finding the errors in my ways 

Finding glimpses of the back of your head in the theater 

And green eyes would meet mine for a second to return to the priority 

I lost all sense of myself, drinking down pills of ibuprofen to desensitized whatever the f**k was in my head

This was two years ago. 

I found the ibuprofen again in my drawer 

Full and colorful, I took my first one

I let the wave of numbness hit my brainstem 

Desensitize my coordination 

Desensitize my organizational planning, please

Deplete me

Speak to the pons

Start the alpha waves to reduce me to nothing but minimal consciousness

I dreamt of that day 

The day you found out green eyes penetrated our peripheral 

I will always remember it 

To never make the same mistakes like that again 

Brown diluted the green 

The paper chromatography just kept changing colors to you 

I found you

And I let it go, again 

So I think of Anita before she ever fell in love 

And I think of my hour long showers before I had purpose 

And the books i would read to pass the time 

And you break it

You break it all

Finding you was so unpleasant and such a f*****g miracle 

I was wrong, this is more than finite and temporal. 

I know.