The Phonecall

You probably stopped reading my poetry years ago
If there was one thing I wish I could’ve said on the phone last night
That I never got a chance to do was that this separation was not working
That every morning I wake up in anxiety and despair when I don’t feel your chest next to me breathing
That between car rides I get panic attacks and sob uncontrollably at the thought of being completely alone without you
That getting ready to go to work or school is the worst period when I have no ambition to go anywhere if I don’t have you to say good morning to first
That this bed has grown so big when it’s always every been met for one body
That my mental health is deteriorating and I can’t hold this support anymore
Every day is a ticking bomb to see how long I can last before I shut everything out
This needs to stop.
This break isn’t working.
And I wanted to say it over the phone, but you’re not listening to me anymore.
“do you want me now?”
Were the words spewing from my mouth
Before my reality checked it
I wish you would stop toying with us and just give it a try now and I promise I’ll love you so much harder, just please end the very feeling that dwells in me.
I can’t stop loving you.
Please, just come home.

I’m begging.