Last Chapter

The hardest thing in life I’ve ever had to do was sit down with my mother and tell her I Love Her before explaining all the reason I couldn’t come back home. It was telling her about the meeting with the psychiatrist. It was me telling her about how my boyfriend used to put his hands on me. The tears that flowed from her eyes and the anger that built up around her head. She was exploding. “It was toxic, mom. I also did the same to him, just he was more forceful.” It was me showing pictures and her gripping the phone to call the cops. It was me telling her “Let him walk away with the things he’s done. It doesn’t matter anymore. He’s lost it all, he just won’t realize it yet.” My mother became my child yesterday. She wept in my arms uncontrollably. She couldn’t understand why someone like him would ever thrust my face into the dashboard of my car, why he would ever grip my throat, make me bleed. These are things she trusted him in at least not to do. Putting his hands on her daughter. There are something in life you can’t control and sometimes true colors appear after many years. She made me promise I would never see him again. The memories came and it felt like death was overwhelming me. The flashbacks of all of our days from Kellogg Park, in your room, in the shower, in our bed and every place that we have been together. I finally put the flower in the chapter of Us and closed it. “Never again, mother.” This is the last time I’m every writing about Fernando.