Weaving Through

Dan asked me if we were broken up last night
I told him that things changed and you decided what was best
What I least expected him to say was that he loved me as a person and that there was nothing that would change it.
And that was my worst fear when you pulled the trigger.
I thought you took away your friends.
Your nephews.
Your brother and sister.
These people that I learned to love undoubtedly.
But, they stay. They’re still here, even after all this time.
And they see me.
Because I’m still here.
And they know I was the best you could ever do.

So, last night Hector grabbed me by the shoulders and yells how much he loves Anita.
That there is nothing on this planet that would take her away.
His kind of love is so naive.
If only more men could love the way he did.
What I almost missed to hear was the last part of his sermon.
“Alexandra, he lost out. You are a genuine person. How many girls wish to be like you, and they can never be it. You are one of the true ones.”
I ran to the bathroom to absorb and decompress.
The bench in middle of the room is home.
I listen to Lauren from Connecticut talk about her abusive ex-boyfriend
I couldn’t help but think how she deserves the best and I hope that she finds her way.

I walk back out.
Anita, tells me I’ve grown to be so mature in such little time
So I blame it on the anti-depressants and the mood stabilizers.
I came to a realization after:
Supportive people like this exist and all I’ve been thinking about is youyouyouyou. It’s time to grow up.