I’m Withdrawing Right Now

A Poem by Alexandra

Glass Coughs purposefully played
I dedicate three minutes today in our memory
Is it weird I thought you would never leave?
Everyone tells me if this was long coming
And it probably was
But, I really had no idea you would just leave so suddenly
I asked you every night to reassure myself
And instead, I was being led on by lies of a lover that never was truly there

“Yes, I said those things. But you made me dead inside too.”
Those words hurt more than you might ever think
It’s not Emily
It’s not your activity now a days
It’s those exact words
Because I never felt dead around you
I was always struck by you, love
Even in our worst moments
I waited for you to walk right back
And make me fall in love again the way you do

We haven’t spoken in two weeks. Soon enough it’ll be two months and in two years, I’ll be by the grave. I’m not moving anywhere.