Don’t Get Mad At Me For Wanting The Best

When the night comes to a close
All your friends leave
You’re listening to the best kind of music to keep the vibrancy in the air
The cold air is hitting your face because the heater is way too hot
You look to your right
To find no one
So you look at your phone to see who will take you in for the night
But, this isn’t how it used to be.
It would always be her
You’d finish work, drive back home to her.
Band practice was done, pick up food & drive to her.
People change and they ebb & flow like the seasons.
So, you can tell she’s changing.
You’ll wonder if she’s doing well with the medicine & all.
You’ll look on her social media to make sure nothing outrageous is being said.
You’ll write the text to what was “Conejita” & delete.
You’ll smoke with the window open in your 2x4.
That girl you said you never were into will message you and you’ll go find her.
Anything is better than focusing on things that aren’t there anymore.
Anything is better than remembering how good it used to be.
You’ll keep that in mind & find the efforts to still say “This was the best decision I ever made.”
You’ll never call her.
You’ll keep pretending.
That’s always what you’ve done best.