Matisse

I can unravel every twisted memory
Display it for all to see
Like ripped teeth in velvet
Here is where things went wrong
Have a closer look
You can even take it with you
Carry it with you
So the next time you meet him
You’ll never see him the way you did
Ever again

Reviews

[Chryiss]

I wasn't sure what to expect with that title, but I enjoyed the poem nevertheless.
I really liked the line, "ripped teeth in velvet;" it had an edginess to it despite talking about velvet.
As possibility, I thought adding some line spaces might allow readers to better dwell on certain thoughts and appreciate certain lines more.
For instance,
"I can unravel every twisted memory
Display it for all to see

Like ripped teeth in velvet
Here is where things went wrong

Have a closer look
You can even take it with you
Carry it with you

So the next time you meet him
You’ll never see him the way you did
Ever again"
However this is just the way I read it. Every person is different, so perhaps less spaces could be used, or none at all to let the readers decide..
The line "here is where things went wrong" made me feel like there was more to the story, and adding a line space gives the impression of invisible happenings. You can compare this to the spaces between each panel in a comic. Actions and events have occurred in between those spaces.
In the line, "have a closer look," I imagined the speaker leaning in for a whisper. So by the end, the last line gave more of a punch, as if the speaker were retracting from you. But again, forgive me if I'm being too detailed oriented, a period at the end of the line would make it feel conclusive. It's not just ever again It's ever again. Period. Punctuation, or lack of, are only ways to describe emotion without words. No period leaves it hanging, that there's more to the story.
Wow, this became longer than I intended. But this just shows how much I pondered about your piece, and how well you accomplished engaging the reader!

[Alexandra]

I’ve been so busy and I need to emphasize how imperative your reviews are for me as I’m developing a manuscript of my poetry. Thank you so much for your kind revision & witty advice. Truly enthralled by your ideas & im glad to be of someone worth to review. Thank you again!

[Chryiss]

You're welcome~ I'm glad I could be of any help, and good luck with your manuscript's development! :)