The Plea

Woke up to the sound of your breath
When in reality it was Stephanie’s 3 AM call last night replaying in my head
“What is he talking about? Just cause you hang out doesn’t mean things happened during that time. You never did anything with any of his friends”
Cut to the vision of your face
Cut to the pavement
Cut to me slapping you
Cut to you growing insatiable to my words

Pause right before I left and you drove off
Play when I started chasing your ghost
Pause when I pulled up
Play to when you were on the phone with someone else

El Fin
(I’m never going to make contact again and I wish I took my meds last night. I just really couldn’t let you think right on a thought that was so wrong. I didn’t do anything. But you’ll keep believing otherwise. This is just the role I play: the villain)

Reviews

[JayG]

Perhaps, were I to know the one speaking, or the one being talked about, this would generate the response you hoped for in a reader.

I'm certain this is meaningful to you, because you have context. But the reader reader? The language isn't poetic and there's no context to make it meaningful for the reader.

My point is that instead of talking to, and about, someone we know nothing about, invite the reader in. Make them FEEL, not just know. Make it meaningful, and interesting, and something that causes a reader to react with something more than "Uhh...okay." ;)

In other words, make-them-CARE!

[Alexandra]

Thank you for your review! I personally have poems where I purposely dissociate my works from the readers, this is definitely one of them. I kind of want the reader to contextualize it for themselves and how they perceive it! But yes, of course, thank you for your review!

[JayG]

• I kind of want the reader to contextualize it for themselves and how they perceive it!
read more• I kind of want the reader to contextualize it for themselves and how they perceive it!

Ahh...in that case here is the best example of that I've found:
- - - - - - -
The


- - - - - -
The reader has total freedom to add any context and meaning they care to. It's not mine, though. I found it online.

My point? People don't come to you to be told, "do it yourself." Anyone can write meaningless words and say that. Your reader comes to you to borrow your imagination. They seek entertainment, and perhaps something they can use.

How many people have used the words of a romantic poem to impress someone they care about, because they can't do it nearly so well? They go to people like Ogden Nash for a smile.

But who goes looking for something they can do as well themselves?

[Alexandra]

I guess I am up to no use for them in this specific poem. I understand your point. Thank you!

[Kerdiwen Glass]

Wow... this is interesting. A very different and refreshing style that you wrote this in, I like it.

Oh, what I would do to press pause and play on different moments in life, even rewind and change some things... This is a pretty powerful idea, and the emotion that is woven into the words is really powerful.

[Siddhidatri Pande]

Quite an action packed poem....Totally loved.

[Alexandra]

Thank you, love!

[.]

Wonderfully written! I really enjoyed it. Keep writing,
Good Luck!

[Alexandra]

Thank you for reviewing! And yes, will do!

[wordman]

seems like jealousy and regret,i liked it

[Alexandra]

That's exactly what I was going for! Thank you.

[wordman]

my pleasure