Others

The nights trying to write a letter explaining this fucked life
Shame, destructive, embarrassment overwhelms
Sirens off in a distance gives the hope and happiness in a human ended his suffering
He is free, empty, no longer in this pain

When I open my eyes each morning I feel failure that I am still alive
Overloaded felt anger and waste

Others have kids, families, love, and connect with humans
Then I remain empty and wondering where i made mistakes
What is the malfunction, the hurt, grown into the cruelty
Coping is non existent when you are born into this cruelty

The worst fear is happiness, terrified as I never have known hapiness
It’s difficult to not think of death
Every interaction with this life is waiting for the hurt
Kindness and purity is now finding the intentions of why

How can this hurt, how can this unfold into pain
The darkness speaks with whispers into my mind
Memories of my life, the past and I choose to forget
Bury, catalog into this absence wafted existence

No one is ever there, they used and abused in planned agendas
So I let go, bury the thoughts, let go and the memories fade
Shameful
Nothingness until this death

Reviews

[Ms claws]

Gosh! I just can not get away from this poem! https://www.writerscafe.org/atominizerz
Everything happens (or doesn't happen) for a reason.
No kids? They are a blessing. HOWEVER they are LOTS of HEARTACHE.
Enjoy Life. Whatever life hands you, make the best of it.
If you believe in Jesus, the BEST IS YET TO COME.

[Ms claws]

LOL, sorry. I'm not laughing at the poem but the review and it is why I confronted my hellacious password yet again! (Andrew Golding YOU are a brave one, Sir! Excellent review! ;-)
In my experience, older people love to read, BUT, they view an answer as "Oh, They will find out."
That's all. I really like the poem but as far as a lengthy review? They WILL find out.
Peace out.

[Andrew Golding]

Thanks for commenting, Eternity. I suppose we all will find out, each in our time.

I felt moved to say what I did (whether it could be framed as positive or not, I don't know) because here was this person describing a lifetime's worth of pain, making the effort to put it into verse and share it, and it was as if, out of all these readers, not one wanted to take the time to leave even the briefest of notes: "Are you OK?" "Gee, I hope things get better!" ...something!

Perhaps because I have suffered similarly in my lifetime, I felt spoken to by their writing. I would have felt ashamed of myself if, after consuming such heartfelt content, I just passed this person by without a word. I guess that could have just been an internal thing, and I didn't have to call out the previous 93 readers. But alas, such is my nature.

Anyway, I'm pleased to make your acquaintance, Eternity! See ya around the cafe!

[Atominizer]

Completely love the c**t remarks. one love

[Ms claws]

@ Atominizer, One thing I noticed and I want to say, Never feel like a failure to have lived, no matter what happens. We all have lessons to learn: Number One, Love. (the mention of "c**t remarks, one love" reminded me of that. Thanks! See? We never know who we might be helping!

[Andrew Golding]

Wow. 93 views and none thought to find a word of acknowledgement? Thank you for giving voice to this depth of emotion. I have felt similarly, and so would not insult you with the false hope of some annoying silver lining bullshit. Life sucks, bad s**t happens, and sometimes there are no answers. Death is certain, and that can provide solace, but in the uncertainty of life, there is space for -- anything. Patterns are hard to break, especially ones borne of trauma, but occasionally, whether we resist or whether we accept it, change is dealt to us. I hope it finds you and deals you a kindness.

[Atominizer]

Reality of humanity is the direct, raw human pain, Bleekness, red dripping, blackness that humans ignore. Interesting, Dostoyevsky written such beauty but danced with idealism in religion. Remove this facade and the horrors of life is left. observed in this ignorance,