Finding Anna: One Mother One War One Mission

So, I went to Amazon and looked. Like your other spammed book, this was written by someone who has yet to learn the basics of writing fiction for the page.

You open with 27 words, from the narrator, on someone unknown, in an unknown place needing coffee, for unstated reasons.

It's presented in an emotion-free voice, a transcription of someone who can neither be heard nor seen—which is why it would be rejected right here by any agent/publisher.

That's followed by 12 words on someone of unknown age, background, and profession, who appears to like chasing fire trucks, for unstated reasons. That's the second rejection-point.

Then, we learn that he was asleep till "his office called." So, apparently, he was chasing those trucks in his sleep? Not what was meant, but it is what was said. Rejection-point #3.

Then. we learn that his boss "never slept," an obvious impossibility. Rejection point #4.

Then, we're told that the editor was "told about the fire." So, we get effect, the boss being told something unstated, before learning what he learned that made it worthy of the call. So...you presented effect before cause: Rejection point #5.

Then, we learn what kind of fire, where, and, why it matters to our protagonist. So first we get data, and then context, which is rejection point #6. All six of them in paragraph #1.

So...first, our protagonist needs coffee...which he never gets. Then, BEFORE that, he chases fire engines for unknown reasons. Then, BEFORE that, his boss calls. Then, finally, we learn the whys of it, all explained in the dispassionate voice of an external explainer, who's talking to a reader who expects to be made to live the scene, not hear about it secondhand.

In short, it's not fiction as a reader expects to see it. It's a transcription of you, talking AT the reader, primarily in overview.

You can spend your life writing in that style, and all you'll do is get better and better at writing with an approach incompatible to that of fiction-for-the-page.

But in the end...seriously? Spamming a writing site this way? =sheesh=

Posted 18 Hours Ago