if only.

i learned a little bit from each of those years
that i wished for so long to just erase
and one day i just started to think that maybe
i should wake up and realize
it would take a whole lot of wishin' to change all that
all those seasons, full of regret and smiles
they all sneak up and sneak by
so quickly that i can't remember anything much
only sitting on the back porch watching the snow
spending half of that winter alone, knowing i'd be better off
had i spent the entire year alone.
"if only i could erase just one."

and when spring came i found myself wishing still.