I don't have a title yet

A fresh start and escape from painful memories.

It's been a year since that day

When I lied and said it'd be okay

Your tears melted everything inside of me

Until my emptiness set me free

I want to drown our memories in their own misery

And watch them sink in a sea of melancholy

Everything I care about tends to fall apart

So you see I need this fresh start

I want to run away from my past

And let the good times last

I want to die a beautiful death

And to smile with my last breath

I want to be reborn

To rise from the ashes of what I mourn

I want to fall back down from the sky

And make the queen of the angels sigh

I want to live again

But the best laid plans of mice and men

Often go wrong when they should go right

God help me in my plight

 

Author's Note

Opinions? Comments? Ideas for a title? Much appreciated.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Many strong lines in the poem for the title. "Of mice and men" or "To be reborn."
I like the use the title somewhere in the poem to make the point. Sometime rebirth can leave us in a worst place. I believe better to learn our lesson and try to be better. I enjoyed the complete poem. Thank you for a outstanding poem.
Coyote

[Sami Khalil]

Until my emptiness set me free ...
Nice write...

[Omar Fendri]

A vivid poem with a tone of grief and a bare optimism in the last lines. The rhyme gives such beatitude to this poem which makes it enjoyable to read. Its simplicity is psychedelic.

'Your tears melted everything inside of me
Until my emptiness set me free' ... I love those lines

[ImagineItAll]

Hmmmm...this is inspirational I think. Makes me want to forget my worries and regrets and try again everything I've wanted to do but failed at doing. We all need to be set free sometimes.

[OT]

very nice - you have a lyrical feel to a lot of your poems - song like with the couplets - a name - hmm - Reborn maybe? not sure - either way great write!

[Holiday Sparkle]

I really like, this, raw, but I like it a lot. I feel like it is a window into someones thoughts, or decisions. Which I of course like to read/listen too.

How about the title could just be " Escaping the enviable"

[brenda]

hummn how about scars left behind? it is a good poem:)

[Hayley]

I think a good title would be Inception, or something like that. something that signifies a new beginning..

[Annie29]

Great!
I'm writing it down, because I feel like this 24/8.
Great job (: