a grieving for a grieving

i played around with the format. enjoy.

I remember you missing I
and I missing you
and us in each others hands
      cupped and held on subway trains
and park benches;
      finding places to kiss
and talk
and gander
and dine.

I missing you and
you missing I �"
you wanting me there when it hasn’t even been that long,
      much like the hummingbirds waiting for their sweet honeysuckles;
      they’ll arrive sooner than they think.

You missed your chance
as I missed mine.
     I misplaced my keys and missed my train,
      recounted the clock with my fingers; I could’ve missed a hour
       missed a minute, seconds, precious seconds
        fumbling through couches and thoughts
         recalculating my destination
          figuring I’ll lose a home in me if I tried looking for one in you.

Here I am, missing thoughts of missing you
      and thinking all the different ways
I can miss this and that of you
      in different lights, shades, and flavors
      in different proximities
      and safety zones.

                                                                     or if it’s best
                                                                     to stop missing you, all together,
                                                                     the thing we never truly were.

Reviews

[fireblossom]

I'd buy a ticket to see this surrounded by an arrangement of vibrating lips, reeds and strings. Perhaps a pedestrian beat with syncopated accents flying like butterflies and then wasps turning into sighs...

Very good writing to the point of ridiculously good. ;-)

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the way you used the words. Gave a interesting twist to the poem. I like the tale and the surprise ending.
"I can miss this and that of you
in different lights, shades, and flavors
in different proximities
and safety zones."
I like the above lines a lot. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Robert Lindsay]

It has a very mellow and dreamlike quality - a bit like song lyrics
You're questioning this compulsion to keep cherishing the memories..? Questioning the idealism that you so strongly wrapped into this..? Well it's powerful and honest and maybe cathartic too, to write so reflectively!
Nice writing!

[Arsalan Kouser]

I really like this poem. It made me feel sort of melancholy, but that's a good thing, as it struck a thing within me. Was this poem inspired by your personal past, if you mind my asking?

[Melanie Genevieve]

I absolutely love this poem and the title automatically reminded me of Ze frank's video -the sweetness :) which I can't stop watching.