Sitting Out Side On A Silent Night

Just a peice I have came up with sitting here out on my porch at 2:30 am..

 

I’m sitting out side on a silent night,

Wishing and hoping that I am out of fright,

I am scared of everything I’ve endured ,

Cause my life can be feared of sorrow up shore,

I’m losing all sense of control,

Wondering what my life beholds,

Will I ever be free again from all this pain?

Cause there is no turning back from the cane,

Witch I will have to use one day,

I am scared for my life,

Never knowing what God has in store for me tonight,

I sometimes fall to the ground,

I cant hold my self up long enough,

So all I do is frown,

If there was just one person that could take this away,

I will never have to worry about a wheelchair or cane,

But I not only have that fear inside of me,

I have to wonder what others will think of me,

I did not ask to be born this way,

I wish they found it sooner so there wouldn’t be any pain,

Were are the doctors when I need them now?

I cant seem to find them there no were to be found,

When I call them they tell me there’s nothing we can do,

Just go to pain management and see what they can do,

I don’t want thirty needles in my spine,

I want to be free so I know I be there to survive,

I have my family to look after and take care of,

I’m not the one they should be helping me out of bed,,

Making sure I feel up to going out not staying in,

But now I have to look forward to what is not the end,

Knowing that this is my life and I cant turn back time,

So let the true games of life begin.

Author's Note

This is just things that have been on my mind and when I am feeling something I cant hold it in and Just act like my life is grand.I just wish and pray that there is people out there that truly understand that spinal problems is a hard thing to deal with on a daily basis and it hurts bad to know that one day you may never be able to walk again and your kids will be pushing you around in a wheelchair..I always write whats in my heart and I know this might sound stupid to some people but I really dont care.My passion is to be who I am and do what I feel in my heart and write it down if your read this ty and God Bless and I hope its not as stupid as I think it is, but its just poetry right the heat and soul within?

Reviews

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

this is a nice release of pain and fears... you are great at putting your emotions out there with such beauty and grace. Wonderfully done.

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

It's not just poetry, and it' surely is not stupid. You have a beautiful flair for writing. I am so sorry you must endure this pain. Take care and my prayers to you . Thank you for sharing a wonderful work. Debileah