From the memory box

Somewhere I don't go much anymore

 

 

Now that you are someone I used to know I can tell you,

I told myself you were right for me,

Now and then I think of when we were together,

I ached for your love,

I was happy just to be near you,

Never imagining a time would come,

When I could feel lonely in your company,

I still remember the early years,

Now and then,

 

Now that you are someone I used to know, I can tell you,

There was a sadness in my heart towards the end,

It was an addictive sadness about nothing,

I could see the end was near,

I found I could not make sense of my life,

I was glad when it was over,

 

Now and then you come back to me in my dreams,

Having me believe it was all my fault,

I shake myself, I want the dreams to go away,

I don’t wanna see those dreams anymore,

Your words, Your voice, come back to me,

Over and over, and make me shudder,

I just don’t wanna see those dreams anymore,

Now that you are someone I used to know,

 

Now that you are someone I used to know, I can tell you,

You cut me off every time I spoke,

Made out like arguments never happened,

We became a shadow of our past,

You treated me like a stranger in my house and that was rough,

You were two people, one sober gentle, one drunk angry,

You chose words that cut through my self being,

Your eyes were like glass each day of our lives

 

Now that you are someone I used to know, I can tell you,

I had to walk away, I did not trust the sober gentle one anymore,

There was an unspoken silence each day, nothing solved,

I did not want anything, I could not live the life no longer,

I just wanted my self respect,

Lost in addictive sadness for many years,

You wanted to be friends, I heard,

But I could not,

 

Now I can tell you, I live in a gentle world,

Fending for myself,

A simple life,

Just me and my dogs,

Solitude, just a few friends, learning to live again,

Where I spend my  nights and days with my dogs,

Now that you are someone I used to know, I have told you.

Reviews

[David Scott]

This poetry is healing. I think many readers will find your words familiar to their experience in life.
You have created something beautiful out of something painful.
Great work on the writing and on the soul.

[B.J]

Thank you so much for the review, it is from deep inside the soul

[TL Boehm]

this is a melancholy introspection - wonderfully penned - that we can be truthful to ourselves and others is such a good thing - and this poem speaks to that - but there is that ache for a death of a relationship I think we all carry - a grief that has to be worked out.

[B.J]

It took me 4 and a half years to be able to post that poem. I am over the grief now and moved on. That is why I could post it. I thought it would've taken me longer, it's been hard work but I've done it. With the help of God and new friends and a new life. Thank you so much for reading and commenting, I appreciate it truly.

[Sami Khalil]

Every thing I read from you is sooo good and has meanings behind it. Another great one...:).......................

[B.J]

I dusted of the moth balls on that one, to be able to think like that I've certainly moved on. I know I am happy now. Thank you for your comment

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)..........

[B.J]

:).....................

[Sami Khalil]

:)................

[wordman]

this sounds like a real life story the love just seemed to fade away to a memory and not always pleasant
and actually being glad when it came to an end I loved the write

[B.J]

It definitely is a real life story..I thought what the heck moved past it all and certainly started afresh

[wordman]

good for you !

[B.J]

:).........................