The Edge

This is one I wrote out of life experience. My hopes are that you can feel the pain, yet know the hope.

The Edge

 

 

When cold waves crash against your starboard side,

And the darkness envelopes your soul;

Discouragement approaches like a cloud of locusts

And a good word seems foreign.

 

Though you swim in the pool of pestilence

And fear creeps in like a dusk driven shadow;

The sky will not rain, and the sand pricks your face

The sun bears down like a terrible burden.

 

Your enemies gather as vultures to prey

Their voices like a symphony of war

And Murphy holds true without fail, and

The song of your heart is in minor key.

 

Where does the love go?

Why do we open our hearts

Only to be broken?

This madness, this cruel madness.

 

Then, as sure as the dawn each day

Light finds us; from inside or out.

If you can endure and have faith

And dare to believe in tomorrow

 

Steve

Copyright 2007

Reviews

[jen]

i love this, and yes the hope does shine through and underscores it all... really well done sweet man...

[Aspiring Angel]

Your beautiful poetry always shows a ray of sunshine to be had. This is truly beautiful.

Blessings,
Lesa

[Alex Annesty]

I like the way you resolve the first four, apparently desperate, stanzas in the optimistic fifth. I'm not experienced enough to provide advice on writing poetry, but I'll have a go:

My favourite passage is "fear creeps in like a dusk driven shadow". It's a nice metaphor, it avoids clich� and it flows beautifully, ending with a great three word alliteration.

The phrase "Why do we open our hearts, Only to be broken?" might scan better as something like "Why do we open our hearts, Only to have them broken?".

I enjoyed reading this. Thanks Steve.

[Melon Choly]

This kind of reminds me of my poem about fools. Why, knowing we have the potential for heartbreak, do we continue to seek love?