If life had a back button

There are so many moments in life 

that I wish I could pause, 

delete, 

rewind. 

If only we could back up,

if only for a mere second, 

to a better time 

and a better place 

when the human race 

wasn't running 

and war wasn't waging 

and we weren't on 

the verge of 

the end of humanity.

If only...

If we could only take out 

the unnecessary, 

no more articles that 

leave you tongue tied 

and wanting more 

but less at the same time.

No more ifs, ands, or buts

because life is so much more 

than a piece of poetry,

but poetry is all that 

we need to get us through.

If life had a back button, 

we could rewind our way 

to the start of a new time,

to a decision that marked 

the beginning of the end 

and maybe some of us

would still be whole.

At the same time, 

our decisions and moments 

have formed each family 

and individual in 

a baptism of fire, 

unleashed hell on a 

world that wasn't ready

but forced it to overcome

just the same. 

If life had a back button, 

my heart wouldn't be 

stitched up 

quite so many times. 

I wouldn't have this nagging

thought of being worthless, 

unwanted, and unloved, 

because in the back 

of my mind, 

it's always there. 

Deep inside me, 

the emotions of darkness 

fill my pages with poetry, 

and it's all I need to get me through.

Poetry, 

and a little understanding. 

A little compassion.

A little moment here and 

there just to breathe...

to remind myself where I am.

I am here.

I am now.

I am safe.

If life had a back button,

I wouldn't need time 

to regroup and redo 

and stand up or 

sit down. 

If life had a back button, 

I wouldn't be me. 

My life would be the same

but different.

My purpose is the very 

reason I am alive, 

but the moments 

I want to erase

are the very ones

that made me.