FAKE

Just something I scibbled

I was on my own
In a world so lone
You crashed into me
Making things go wrong
First I thought it was right
You gave me smiles
You made me laugh
But you were fake
Every joke was fake
Every smile was fake
What was not fake
Was my love for you
But you didn't see
You didn't know
What it felt like
To be real for once
And then you left
Taking the fake world
And I was left
Without a world
Because somewhere in between
I started believing the facade
And I lost my reality
As it entwined with yours
When you took your farce
You took my reality
Without a world I'm left alone
In a desert where I dont know
Whether it is fake or real.

Author's Note

Well.I'm not sure about this one..So..Leave your honest opinion. :-)

Reviews

[Perdition]

Well I would suggest that it is time that you start to believe and become VERY sure about it. This is as real as it is well written in an openness of language that I think most can and will relate....Even if it turns out to be fictitious. When I slowed your poem and my read down the flow became a welcome haunting release. I don't usually enjoy the rhyme but in this poem it has a definite distant purpose within. Like a mask you wear to survive your scars of truth. It's very well done ..Thanks for the read~

[Sky]

Thanks a lot.You have no idea what your words just made me feel.And I'm not someone who write to a rhythm.But this one.Just happened.I dont know if I could write another one with a rhyme.Lol. :-D

[Perdition]

My pleasure....strange how the best writes seem to always just "Just happened". Keep believing. The page is yours~

[Sky]

You are far kind with your words.And yeah.At least to me.Its always the 'Just happened' which end up much better than the rest.

[Perdition]

Kind words indeed (thanks) but more than a stumbler of "far kind" I am "honest" and somedays that leaves me speechless because the light for which we reach for in art is not for me to give nor darken with words in which I hardly see myself....However, when I do it lends the pen a refreshing fountain that nourishes and inspires my mind and fills the reaches beyond the realms of margin. You are a nourishing poet and I think that I will enjoy taking my time and drinking in your other offers as well (poems). It was very lucky to have stumbled here in the open mind....It sent me back to my own "sky" and light. well done as well as accolades young muse....I owes ya one~

[Raj]

Nice poem.straightforward words.again bit wordy as i can see some lines are repeating .but that's ok as you have this habit.best lines were
"and then you left
Taking the fake world
And I was left
Without a world".

[Sky]

Thank you Raj. :-) For your opinion. :-)

[Dark Heart of Winter]

This hurts xD I've been that person, unable to love them back and being their false hope ... and I've seen many people use foolish girls who fall in love too easy for their own personal gain.

I wrote a poem on pretty much the exact same subject; only told from my point of view as the one who couldn't love her back because I was too cold and afraid to love and my heart belonged to another. you should check it out. It's called Thorns.

So, my honest opinion: This strikes a deep chord with me :P

[Sky]

Thanks for dropping your review.I will definitely check this out.This is not about a foolish girl falling in love.But a lonely girl thinking that finally she got a real friend.Her best friend.And his lose. :-)

[stars are far]

I can relate to this very well..
It was actually a good writen poem
well done ..

[Sky]

Thank you for your kind words.Means so much to me :-)

[stars are far]

[PoemRodent]

I recently felt this way. Now I am trying to open my heart and move forward. Its never easy but its something that is needed. Your poem is filled with emotions and gave me the sense of how you felt. Great job on this one. Thanks for sharing!

Rob

[Sky]

Thanks Rob.Your opinion matters a lot.I was really nervous about this one.

[PoemRodent]

Trouble is now online....LOL Home at last!!!!

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Once we experience heartbreak our reality is tested along with our trust… I like the simple honesty of the poem.

[Sky]

Thank you.I'm glad to hear someone liked it. :-)

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

You are welcome.