Sleeping

That time of the might is here again

I can't get to sleep, it's such a pain

 

It's 11.50

Not even feeling drifty

 

Why can't i sleep?

Not even a peep

 

It can't be how i'm feeling

Coz all the cracks are sealing

 

Might be the underhand communication

When other kids get the temptation

To talk behind our back

I want to turn around and go ....

Smack

Reviews

[-Scribe in Style-]

Haha... Nice one!
On a serious note the message of trying to move past something and then not being able to do so because others give a constant reminder of it, either through their actions or their words.. sometimes "I want to turn around and go ....
Smack" is very appropriate..

Thanks for sharing.
A

[Bailey C. Writing]

That time of the might is here again
*Night. :)
This made me chuckle. I don't know or think you meant to do that, but it did. So relatable, the part about not being able to fall asleep.
The last part was a tad confusing to me? I didn't know how the poem led to that. But I tried my best to understand. :P

[Fairytale]

I know that frustration of not being able to sleep all too well. It's so frustrating. I am not sure what the last paragraph has to do with this poems. Is that the reason for the sleeping trouble? Great poem.

[OceanTropic]

I totally get it. It's not even a feeling I can convey to you, but I TOTALLY get it. Good piece my friend. Keep writing!

[~Sarah~ Idríel T..]

Awesome!

[TJ]

Haha this is funny to me. Dont know if it was meant to be but it is lol

[Ian Faraway]

Yeah I didn't sense much emotion and 'Coz' isn't a real word and I think you meant 'night' where you said 'might'

[Freyziee Fiction]

Nicely written with an obvious talent for rhyming. Don't take offence but a little more emotion would look better.

[Autumn]

Not a bad way with the words you rhyme. I was never very good with getting words to rhyme and having them actually fit into context. Just a few gramerical errors if you want to pay attention to them.

Night, not might. We all have typos.

11:50 or eleven fifty, depends on what yo're going for. 11.50 is just missing a dot.

Punctuation at the end. If you want, some poems don't have a single bit of punctuation in them at all, and if you want to go for that, then definatly turn 11.50 into eleven fifty. It makes it more believable.

I really liked the feeling described here, as we all experience it on our restless nights.

[DontBlink158]

I really liked it! Great job!