Monster

Totaly fiction but I wanted to write about something I haven't written about before so here it is.

 

So what if I did it?

I heard he had no heart.

I believed them.

I don't think he cared at all

So he probably wanted to go anyways.

I helped him.

I didn't know him

But I heard he was stupid.

I believed them.

He knew nothing at all.

He probably wanted to go

So I helped him.

 

 

Everyone looks at me as if I'm some sort of a monster,

I only killed a man.

It's no big deal.

I think they wish I were the one that died though.

 

 

I heard he had no family.

I believed them.

He probably wanted to die.

He had no family anyways,

So I helped him.

I heard he had no home.

I believed them.

If he had no home he was probably miserable.

So I helped him.

 

 

Ok now its getting inconvenient for me.

Everyone's outcasting me from everything.

How am I to live like this?

 

Maybe they're right.

Maybe I am a monster,

But the good kind right?

 

What the hell is wrong with everyone?

I'm not that bad!

 

I'm laying on the merry go 'round at the park.
I'm spinning looking at the sky & some freak comes up with a gun shouting I killed his brother.

But he didn't have a family...right?

Boom the gun fires right into my chest but doesn't hit my heart.

I'm bleeding really bad though & everyhting is fading.

I think I'm dying.

Damn this hurts.

 

I was a monster.

 

Author's Note

Just a little soemthing different!

Reviews

[Reborn A Phoenix]

different yes good yes

[Silent Kim aka mizmetap..]

Scarey, that anyone could think like this and I'm sure they do. You wrote this with sincere talent .

Thanks for your entry inmy contest and the best of luck to you.

[+xDrunkenFairytalex+]

verrrrryyyy good! Being able to put yourself in another person's place is an amazing talent. Truthfully, I can't do that. My poems are all of my emotions or my own thoughts. [u still amaze me.]

[ape domenigoni]

Amazing....very different perspective

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Wow this truly something and brings up many question like is their ever just cause in taking a life like that whole "eye for en eye" saying... and what of those that get revenge... you really make the reader put their thinking cap on here.

[Sarah]

Wow! The first & third stanzas were BRILLIANT. The repetition, the wording, the stream of consciousness, everything was flawless! This is certainly something different & really something worth reading. Great job!!!

[Lady Lazarus.]

incredible.
a great and difference subject and very very good flow and use of words.
a good narrative and just a great poem in general!
I love it ^^

[An owl on the moon]

Very moving and intriguing!!! Your thoughts flowed in a brilliant, random form that kept me interested to see what would happen. Excellent!

Craig

[SamBug]

It was really good and all but it was surely different. I could feel the pain in it and everything. Just one correction and the rest is good. You put dieing. It's supposed to be dying. It was a fantastic write. Dang you're just so creative and talented!

[Alice]

I like the way you explored how a crime can seem like the right thing to the perpetrator and the subtlety of your suggestion that what he was told about the victim wasn't true, that's really effective. I'd be careful with phrases like, "it's no big deal" and "damn this hurts" because they seem to belong more in a casual conversation between teenagers than in a poem like this so it's distracting. I like it when you mention lying on the merry go round - I think your poetry could do with more concrete images like this so that the reader can build more of a picture in their head.