The Brick Wall Between Us

sometimes your love's been kept away... as if a brick wall splits you up...

As connected as our hearts,

As connected as or souls.

Something seem to dig,

Inside me deeper holes.

 

As connected as our laughter,

As connected as our ways.

Something seems to ting inside me,

Are we going the right ways?

 

Though our hearts are for one another,

Though we're looking out for each other.

I feel a wierd split in my heart,

As if there's a brick wall between us...

                              beefjerky

Author's Note

got no real bf yet, i believe i'm too young right now... but did i get the feelings right?

Reviews

[City Sky]

Much love, CitySky





Follow the chocolate bar
and see them

[playful>Julie xD]

Loved it... I think its a really good poem and well you've just made it to the finalist for my contest. keep up the good work.

[Jimmy Greenie]

Me neither...but it's probably about right. Written plenty about love, and I believe that's how I would write about it

[Andrew Wang]

Yeah... It's pretty good, you know, with the rhyming and all that. Though I have to agree with you: you're pretty young to be writing something like that.

[Tori]

Dude, this is awesome! I love the whole idea of the brick wall splitting two people apart, tearing away at their love for one another....AWESOME!!! It really connects to the way life works most of the time. Great job!

[Salvatore Buttaci]

I like the way you set up the poem and then in the last stanza moved away from the pattern to tell the bigger truth.