Away

Running

I'm running fast

Faster than I have ever ran before

 

Away

I have to run away

From this horrible place

 

This place

This place of lies, of hurt, of judgement

It is pain itself.

 

Faster

I push myself faster, farther, away

I am away.

 

Author's Note

I am kind of new to writing so I just want honest reviews. Thank you.

Reviews

[loading...]

I love the almost disjointed repitition here, it adds an urgent and pained mood. Im having some issues with the ending though, it doesn't pack a punch. Not enough power--it seemed to me that you added it just to end it, or make it more mysterious. Maybe just cut that out completely, or leave it more open ended. Don't dwell on it though. Just move on to something else. Great write.

[Nonchalant]

I liked that there was a desperate urgent feel which was felt throughout the poem, I just didn't enjoy the ending. Other than that, good stuff!

[......]

I really like this write, i feel this way half the time.

[Lost in Wonderland]

This was a lovely poem, Belle. There was a desperate feel wich added nicely to the mood of the poem. Great piece. Very deep and relatable. Nice work!