The Panhandler

The result of a 6 word exercise

The old man's few remaining teeth
are yellow ghosts, haunting the space between his cracked lips.
He loiters outside my building every morning.
An exchange of words, a denial of currency, and a God bless you;
both our lies twisting round a different set of ghosts
in the graveyard city where we live.

Author's Note

Not sure about the title...

Reviews

[Writer CW Kirkland]

I liked this poem especially because it tells a good story in few words. The title seems appropriate since a Panhandler is a person who begs for money on the street. Your descriptions are very well written in only six lines. Every single line is effeciently descriptive, and the flow is very easy for the reader to follow.

[alternative_be]

Your title got me intriqued, so I was drawn to read this poem... Though there is no pan present in the poem itself, I'm sure there is a connection between a pan and being homeless. Your title makes me think of the homeless people featured in some films or TV - series, a colourful bunch of people, making a fire under a bridge so they can heat their tin can supper.
Furthermore, I like the image of the yellow teeth and the loitering. Specially when people have their permanent hide out, they will try to connect to you, either for money, either to keep in contact with what is left of society as they once knew it. My review is longer than your poem. Sometimes short poems are the best and to the point! Very well done. Good luck in the contest. My entry is a lot longer and is also about a man I used to see while going to work ...

[Stephen Ownby]

I agree about the title. Could be better. The poem, however, is pretty good. The statement on society's greed is subtle, but clear. That's difficult to pull off. The graveyard/ghost thing might be a little heavy-handed. Try pulling a couple of the refrences to that stuff back. Nice job.