03.08

"What died didn't stay dead You're alive, you're alive in my head"

I thought you would open every time I called

Every time I knocked on your door

I expected you to get angry

because I forgot my key again

I thought I could act spoiled to you all the time

You loved me the most because I was the youngest in the family

And I was sure you would never take me seriously

You would defend me in every fight with my cousins

because they would crush me easily

and you would scare them all

I thought you would always be by my side

I was thinking what you would say about every man I talked to

you wouldn't like most of them if you met

and I thought you would meet them one day

that was my biggest unnecessary fear

I never worried when you were sick

because you had been through it all before

and you promised to see my children that I've never wanted to have

When I was only 17 and we were living only two of us

When I woke up to give you medicine on time

and wasted hours adjusting the water while bathing you

when I memorized all the medicine leaflets

When the ambulance crew said we don't have time left anymore

 to go to the hospital

I still thought you would live

but my tears were enough to clean your dead body

and I did.

Author's Note

On progress

Reviews

[Betty Hermelee]

A really sad one, Beren, so tragic to lose a family member, that you were so close to, in many ways... even though it was a long time ago...you really show us the relationship and all of its joy and bumps along the way....if only.... and at the end, you still had this person alive in your mind, even though death occurred....
Beautiful writing....
Warmly, B

[Beren]

Thank you really much for taking time to read and review... Much appreciated. Reading your comment about this made my pain lighter. Have a great week.

[Betty Hermelee]

Always a pleasure Beren
PS I just posted another episode!

[Neville]

sadly and ever so .. this one should never have an ending .. it needs to remain a work in progress & for always because he clearly deserves such a monument .. indeed, I am so sorry for your loss albeit some time ago.. Neville

[Beren]

Ah thank you so much. Yes, she deserves the best place...

[Neville]

......................... 💜

[Everett Dulin]

A tear soaked spongebath is a very lovely image. A very soft voice to this one...

[Beren]

Thank you my friend. Hope you are okay.