broken soul

The notes of old songs remain on my skin.
You kiss, but not my soul.
Because I had long since sold it to the devil.
For so-called love letters.

I paid for all the hells I was left in
and the heavens I was promised.
I waited with my empty suitcase at the door of late buses.

And I couldn't see you there.
No one came to pick me up,
even though i was screaming grey inside

But now I'm angry at myself the most.
I couldn't wait with water in front of a door
that was burning inside.
And now it's time to take responsibility for my own broken heart.

Reviews

[Betty Hermelee]

A very strong write Beren; Yet we shouldn't really blame ourselves for our deeds...things happen in life that are painful to us....what to to ??? I guess try to move on, though it's difficult... your words are so descriptive and meaningful.... an incredible piece....
Warmly, B

[Beren]

It's a challenging experience to remember that even in our own lives, we don't always have control over everything. While we're not responsible for our pain, we are responsible for healing. And that's difficult too... But that's life, right? We'll be alright! Write poems and get over it! haha!
Thank you so much for your time! Hope you are doing well!

[Betty Hermelee]

That is very true....Always a pleasure!
Warmly, B

[Matthew Daalling]

She is great. My favorite poet here on writers cafe.

[artjackdavis0]

Hello

I recently had the pleasure of reading your story, and I must say it played out in my mind like a vivid film rather than just words on a page. The imagery was so natural and immersive, it felt destined to be more than just text it deserves to be seen.

I’m a professional comic and manga illustrator, and I specialize in translating stories into compelling visual experiences whether that's full-length illustrated editions or eye-catching covers built for both print and digital platforms. If you ever decide to visually expand your story, I’d love to collaborate in shaping its artistic identity.

Instagram: art.jackdavis_
Twitter (X): @JackDavis01art
Discord: jaaackdavis0
Email: [e-mail]

Warm regards,
ARK Comics Studio
Professional Comic & Manga Artist

[artjackdavis0]

Hello

I recently had the pleasure of reading your story, and I must say it played out in my mind like a vivid film rather than just words on a page. The imagery was so natural and immersive, it felt destined to be more than just text it deserves to be seen.

I’m a professional comic and manga illustrator, and I specialize in translating stories into compelling visual experiences whether that's full-length illustrated editions or eye-catching covers built for both print and digital platforms. If you ever decide to visually expand your story, I’d love to collaborate in shaping its artistic identity.

Instagram: art.jackdavis_
Twitter (X): @JackDavis01art
Discord: jaaackdavis0
Email: [e-mail]

Warm regards,
ARK Comics Studio
Professional Comic & Manga Artist

[Ayesha Faiz]

Wow… this poem really hit me. It’s raw and emotional, and I could feel every word like a quiet ache. The way you describe holding onto love that was never really there and then blaming yourself for it, that’s something so many people quietly go through but never know how to put into words. You did that so honestly. The way you used metaphors like “screaming grey inside” and “empty suitcase at the door of late buses” really stood out to me. They’re so vivid and quietly heartbreaking. But what I loved the most is how you didn’t just stay in the pain, you faced it and turned it into strength by taking responsibility. That takes courage. It’s a beautiful piece, truly.

[Beren]

Ah! Your comment made me so happy. How nice it is to be able to convey my feelings to someone this much. And you did this great with your comment too! Thank you thank you thank you! Hope all is well!

[Ayesha Faiz]

You're warmly welcome! I'm glad I could make you happy.
Yup! Everything here is well n good. I hope it's the same with you.
Warm regards,
-Ayesha

[Thomas W Case]

Powerful and vivid work. Excellent.

[Beren]

Thank you so so much sir! Take care!

[Pete]

we all must own up to our harsh realities - not an easy thing, especially when the heart is involved or deeper still the soul as you say. emotive descriptions, especially
"screaming grey inside" - can feel the meaningless void and emptiness.

[Beren]

A great comment as always. Realizing the harsh realities is where people start to feel grown. Even if they are not responsible for their own pain, it is a mental elevation to be responsible for fixing it.
Thank you really much for taking time to read and review sir! Take care!

[Coyote Poetry]

So hard to forgive yourself. Love can be so cold and heartless. I understand the dance of thought. Sometimes take years. But we will be brave again. maybe wiser? Thank you dear Beren for for the amazing poetry and your thoughts.
Coyote

[Beren]

Is it important to be wiser in a place where emotions are lost? I don't think so. I am at that point right now but maybe i'll have both some day! In a song i really love has this lyrics "Will you forgive my soul, when you're too wise to trust me and too old to care?" Your review reminded me of this.
Thank you really much for sharing your valuable comments sir! I really apperatice it! Take care!

[Fabian G. Franklin]

The great thing about hitting rock bottom is there's nowhere to go from there but UP. Life has a way of turning things around at the last minute.

[Beren]

This comment really gave me hope. Really. and being true in every sense makes your words more realistic and hopeful! Thank you so much for your support!
Also loved your new profile photo!

[red93]

'heartbreak -
this is when
you begin to live'

Exceptional ✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️

[Beren]

Wow! Well, I'll think about this more...
Thank you very much for taking time to read and comment! I apperatice it!

[Kelly Scheppers]

"Taking responsibility for my own broken heart."

Perhaps that's where our strength lies, when we can pick up the pieces and move on, without looking back. It's a hard road, but it can be done.

[Beren]

Ah! Absolutely! Even though its hard, it can be done! You really understood my words very well. Thank you so much for supporting me! It is really nice to see you here! Take care!

[Everett Dulin]

Reminds me heavily of Anne Carson, amazing writing. It's awesome to have you back Beren.

[Beren]

I care about you more than you know. If you don't remember, happy 1 year of us entering the WritersCafe. I am so glad to meet you here! Thank you so much for everything Everett!