unrhymed

If apologies healed the wounds,
I would have thought I'd never met you.

We wrote a new poem over every scar.
From dead words and empty promises.

How can a person's existence be so lost
while opening the doors of dreams?

If abandoning me were a sin,
which god would you ask for forgiveness from?

You left me apologizing at the end of every tunnel.
And started running towards the sun.

"I wish we could start over differently."
I prepared myself to hear those words for the fifth time.

I don't even remember your face.
Nor what you said.
Nor how your presence made me feel.
But I remember being pushed into the mud,
and the soulless poems among the sorries.

You were the most unrhyming word in my poem,
I tried to make a song out of it.

Reviews

[redzone]

As I read your poem Beren, I thought, all the poems we write can be turned into songs, they are heart melodies. Each word a syllable, a note played out in our life musical. Some are sad, or angry or questioning or anything at all. But all are pieces of our life. Symphonies heard by anyone listening. Some to be played over and over again lovingly, while others should "not start over differently", as the groves in the vinyl are permanent. It is strange, though, as we want to listen and play again. Unfortunately the tune remains the same.

Thanks for sharing.
Curt

[Beren]

...this comment alone is a poem already. What a beautiful thought! I play guitar, and the first things I wrote were song lyrics, and later I realized they could be poems. And while doing this, what struck me the most was that even though I wrote the song/poem myself, I could never sing it with the same pure and powerful emotion as when I first played it. So, it made more sense to write it down as a poem on paper, freeze it, and leave it for other people to vocalize/read for the first time. Because i can't start over differently what i already wrote with the same feelings. But every other people can!
Thank you so much for your great comment again my friend! Reading your reviews are a safe place for me!

[redzone]

I hope you don't mind, but I was struck deeply by your last line ("Reading your reviews are a safe place for me"). I am happy that you see my reviews this way- making you feel safe. Safe and free to continue writing, sharing you words, your music your heart. I can't think of a better comment and I am humbled by it.

While it is true, you can't start over writing the same song/poem, you can experience the feelings that went into the song/poem over and over again. One of the things I love about doing this is, for me at least, I gain new insights into how and why what I wrote made me feel. It allows me to feel even more deeply these emotions again.

So, Beren, I hope you never stop playing your guitar, creating music with it or stop writing the songs/poems that go with the music!!

[Beren]

Awww. My pleasure. I appreciate all the time you took to leave me these comments. Thank you so much.

[Chris Shaw]

You left me apologizing at the end of every tunnel

I thought of opposites here. Magnetic attraction and yet not compatible. Your lines here left me feeling sad and downbeat. Not all music is beautiful. Wonderfully expressed Beren.

Chris

[Beren]

Wow! You understood it so well! It's amazing how you can see beyond the words.
Thank you so much for taking time to read and comment. Hope all is well!

[Matthew Daalling]

Unrhymed, it's kind of like a contradiction. It's ironic, and it comes across as such. How can a person's existence be so lost
while opening the doors of dreams. Strange, how that can happen to us. Even to the best of us. It's kind of reflective of what people go through as human beings. Thanks for sharing.

[Beren]

... Unfortunately, sometimes we all find ourselves stuck in front of a door. It's very special that so many things are universal. Thank you for your time!

[Kady R.]

Wooww Berenn!!

There's so much depth with this poem. I loved "you were the most unrhyming word in my poem." There is so much to be said in that one line. As if the person was just not the right fit even for the poem.

And thennn you ended it with "I tried to make a song out if it." Like wooooww mind blowing for me.

Thanks for sharing the poem Berennn🤗🤗🤗

[Beren]

Awww! Glad you liked this! This is a really important poem for me and was hard to write with these emotions! Thank you for your time!

[Kady R.]

I can understand that Berennn!!! Welcommeee anytimmee🤗🤗🤗🥰🥰🥰

[Near]

This took me back to one point in my life. I always appreciate when a piece does that, conjures deep forgotten feelings that have been buried. Thank you.

[Beren]

Oh! I hope it didn't reminded something awful. I hope i can later take you to the better places with happier poems.
Thank you so so much for your time! Take care!

[carl]

please don't take offense for others, but many poems regarding relationships lost or gone amiss seem to me ( that's a purposed qualifier ) to be drivel - but what you have done here is a bit abstract; I like abstract (another qualifier), and quite personal, meaningful and beautiful - wouldn't it be wonderful if apologies could heal - and better yet remove the pain and hurt but not the beauty that encompassed the injury. - carl

[Beren]

This is a truly special and thoughtful comment. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts a lot. I don't think any writing that comes from genuine feelings is amiss, and I love personalized poems, even ones that not every reader will understand. But what makes art beautiful is that we all have different interpretations! And your comment is beautiful and made me so very happy! Thank you really much for taking time to read and review! Take care!

[carl]

my pleasure for sure

[Lorry]

Our words are used as plasters for all the bruises and tears on our hearts, like a protective cast of paper mache hopes that the spells we write upon them will make sense, heal us and protect us from further attacks to the heart, soul and the us of us.
Perhaps we should write our poetry on bulletproof armour instead! 😃

[Beren]

That's such a great comment!!! Wow! It made me think and very valuable thought! Maybe we should also check the vulnerability values ​​of our words before presenting them to people.
Thank you so much for your time to read and comment sir!