where is she?

Sylvia, forgive me, 

for every poem I couldn't write.

God, forgive me, 

for the men I wrote to.

I didn't know every butterfly had such an impact.

Where is the woman whose every word ignites flame?

In what river did she die, in what sea did she drown?

In whose fire did she burn, if those words didn't burn her.

I think I've rotted my most beautiful poems in you.

And I regret every letter.

I've lost the last bit of sight of my love-blindness in you.

Will i ever sleep again?

But I'm moving to your kingdom.

I really took the long way road.

And here I have everything I can leave.

Every love, my youth, my family...

We will already always looking at the same moon but

At least give me back my poems.

In the drawer you burned.

Reviews

[Kady R.]

Hiii Beren,

I feel the same way. I gave myself my poems to the men I loved and for what. They are burned up in smoke by now just like you stated at the ned of your poem.

But its true the impact we make on the people that read our work. Its almost like adding new perspective to our consciousness.

Thanks for sharing such a hearfelt poem Beren. Hope all goes well in your relationships life.

--Kady

[Beren]

Oh my god Kady 😭😭😭 I am really sorry I didn't see this comment! Can't believe!
I am so sorry you felt the same, hope it was way lighter. You are a great poet and a great friend and I feel so lucky to have you and I missed you! You have great thoughts as always, and thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, supporting me, and taking time to read and comment! Hope you are doing well!

[Kady R.]

Hii Beren sorry for messaging back so late!! I'm very grateful we are friends too and miss you as well!! Its always a pleasure to read your work it touches the heart and I'm willing to do that anytime. Thanks for your kind words Beren!!

[Neville]

this is hauntingly beautiful .. Quite literally sadness captured & saved to a page .. Neville 🌻👍

[Beren]

Wow! Thank you sir! I am grateful for your time as always!

[Pete]

deep and straight from the heart. those poems were spent. only you know where the is.

[Beren]

Yess... Thank you so much sir! I appreciate it! Hope you are doing well!

[Pete]

... meant 'she is', not "the is" (typing fingers are faster than brain sometimes) ...

[-]

Oh Beren, such a poignant and introspective passage of poetry you have been kind enough to gift us! A beautiful lamentation on lost love, lost art, and lost self. Your words are as a confession, an apology, and a plea, all woven together as one with the terrible fabrics of longing and regret. The imagery and metaphor, particularly the impact of the butterfly serving as a symbol for the transformative power of love and art, are incredible. The search for the inner Sylvia within whose words ignite flame is a haunting and evocative motif, and the questions of her fate are a poignant expression of loss of something or someone divine. The regret and self-blame are palpable, as you lament the poems you’ve lost and the love you’ve squandered. The image of the poems rotting in the beloved is haunting, suggesting a kind of creative decay and corruption. The closing is particularly heartbreaking, as you ask for your poetry back, even as you acknowledge that they may be lost forever, burned in the drawer. This is a devastating image, one that suggests an irretrievable loss of love, and identity. What a beautiful exploration of the human experience, with all its complexities, contradictions, and sorrows!

[Beren]

Oh My God! Wow! This review made me speechles! I don't like being seen that much! Let me stay mysterious and let other people figure out! Haha! Wow... This is absolutely beautiful, I feel lucky that I wrote good enough poems to get these reviews from you. You have been kind enough to gift me! Thank you really much! I hope all is well with you!

[-]

You are most welcome! I enjoy reviewing your gorgeous poems. But do not worry, you are still very mysterious to me!

[redzone]

Beren, this is a truly wonderful poem. But I must leave the site and I want to give this a review worthy of the poem and poet. I will return to give you my thoughts.
-Curt

[Beren]

what? NO! dont leave the site! Tell me why. are you okay?

[redzone]

Beren, I am fine, just had to leave to do errands and eat. Anyway, your poem:

I felt as I read your poem, a lot of raw emotion, the depth of longing for her (Emily). I could relate to the line "I think I've rotted my most beautiful poems in you." How often do we write about or to someone and they "rot" on the page because we did not give them or the one who the poem was written to never saw it. But the poem was not wasted, it lived in our world nonetheless and had meaning to us who wrote it. And I liked the way you proclaimed your love (yes, I saw this as a love poem) by listing the reasons for this love by showing how you didn't have anything to lose by writing the poem or by showing your emotions to the one the poem was written for. And I also liked how the same moon was seen by both of you.

As an aside, I think those poems did not burn, instead they were kept in a safer place. They still exist in your heart.

It was a sweet poem, Beren and I enjoyed reading it. Thank you for sharing.
-Curt

[redzone]

Beren, I am fine, just had to leave to do errands and eat. Anyway, your poem:

I felt as I read your poem, a lot of raw emotion, the depth of longing for her (Emily). I could relate to the line "I think I've rotted my most beautiful poems in you." How often do we write about or to someone and they "rot" on the page because we did not give them or the one who the poem was written to never saw it. But the poem was not wasted, it lived in our world nonetheless and had meaning to us who wrote it. And I liked the way you proclaimed your love (yes, I saw this as a love poem) by listing the reasons for this love by showing how you didn't have anything to lose by writing the poem or by showing your emotions to the one the poem was written for. And I also liked how the same moon was seen by both of you.

As an aside, I think those poems did not burn, instead they were kept in a safer place. They still exist in your heart.

It was a sweet poem, Beren and I enjoyed reading it. Thank you for sharing.
-Curt

[Beren]

Awww! Thank you so so much sir! I really loved this review so much, and your honest thoughts... This is so valuable. Thank you for your wise words, they made me think a lot... I want to chat with you as soon as possible! And thank you again for your kind comment!