A little bit jealous

New girl. Old feelings .And a jealousy that can't be hidden

It was one of those lazy Sundays where everything felt slower than usual�"except my heart.

That day, I made a decision. A bold one, at least for me. I was going to sit at the back. Not just for the view or the fresh air near the fan, but because Gregory sat there. And I wanted to talk to him. Or at least try  to.

I quietly ditched my usual spot with Rebecca�"don't worry, I didn't abandon her. I left her with someone she could gist with (because I'm a good friend like that 😌). Instead, I slid into a seat next to Nuella and Mirabella.

No, they weren't sisters. Just best friends. (Ignore the rhyme in their names�"it wasn't planned.)

But even though I tried to act casual, my mind wasn't. Because honestly? Gregory and Mirabella had gotten... close. Too close. And my heart didn't like that.

Nuella leaned toward me during service and whispered, "I saw Gregory and Mirabella sharing a biscuit."

A biscuit.

It sounded so small. So harmless.

But to my heart? That biscuit was a knife.

I laughed it off like it didn't matter. Like I was cool. Like it didn't feel like someone had squeezed my heart like a sponge.

I shouldn't have cared.

But I did.

Because deep down, I wanted Gregory to like me. I wanted him to feel�"even just a tiny drop�"of what I felt. Maybe even get a little jealous if another guy talked to me. Just once.

Instead, it felt like I was invisible again. Like Mirabella's light outshone me. And what hurt the most was... I liked her. She was funny. Sweet. She didn't even know she was hurting me.

When she first joined our church, I thought, "Wow, she's so nice. We could be friends."

I didn't expect that we'd like the same person.

And now, it was like she had what I'd been hoping for.

Funny how things change.

Chikiama had left�"my old crush rival�"and I thought Gregory was finally free.

Then came Mirabella.

She didn't steal him.

She just existed.

And that was enough.

When I got home that evening, I flopped on my bed and stared at the ceiling fan spinning in slow motion. It felt like my brain was spinning with it.

In my mind, I imagined opening my "Gregory" folder�"like a file on a computer�"and dragging it to the Recycle Bin.

Delete.

Poof.

Gone.

But it never worked. Because no matter how many times I tried to erase him from my mind, his memory came crawling back. Like some glitch in my heart's system.

He wasn't just a crush.

He was my first friend.

My first... something.

Maybe not love.

Okay, maybe just a crush.

But still... firsts are hard to forget.

I buried my face in my pillow and whispered, "Why does it have to hurt like this?"

No one answered.

Except my own thoughts, quietly repeating:

"You were never meant to be."

But even knowing that didn't stop my heart from wondering... what if?

The next Sunday, I came earlier than usual, hoping I could sit near Gregory before Mirabella did. But guess who was already there, laughing at one of his jokes like they were in their own little world? Yep. Her.

I stood awkwardly for a moment behind them, not knowing what to do. Gregory glanced my way and gave a small nod.

But I didn't notice.

Instead, I quietly sat down beside Nuella again, trying to act like I wasn't watching them the whole time.

"You're so funny, Greg," Mirabella said, covering her mouth as she giggled.

"Only when you laugh at my jokes," he replied.

That one stung.

He used to laugh at my jokes like that too... or maybe I just imagined it.

I tried to focus on the service, but all I could think of was that Greg had never laughed like that with me.

After service, Mirabella caught up with me outside.

"Hey Kim," she said, a little breathless. "You were kinda quiet today. Everything okay?"

I nodded too quickly. "Yeah, just tired."

She tilted her head. "I hope you don't mind me sitting with Greg. We were talking about the teens drama. He thinks I should join."

I tugged at the edge of my sleeve. "Oh, no problem. You two seem... close."

She smiled. "He's so nice, isn't he? And I feel like I can tell him anything. I even told him about my dog, Sparky. He was so sweet about it."

I nodded, even though my stomach twisted.

"I think he likes you too," she added.

I blinked. "What?"

"He mentioned you. He said you're really smart and kind and that you are just a shy person."

My heart did a confused flip. Was this pity? A sign? A trap?

I smiled, but my head buzzed with questions.

I went home that day even more confused than before.

It wasn't just jealousy anymore.

It was the ache of almosts, maybes... and things left unsaid.

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