Prizes

A little free verse drivel I did last year about the feeling of inadequacy

In Year Four I coloured a leprechaun in felt tip pen

Put it in a prize draw and won a football.

In Year Five I won a little sulphur stickman

For having the best yellow outfit on a charity Rainbow Day.

Today, in Year Eleven, I watched classmates win trophies 

And realized the only things I'd ever won

Were footballs and stickmen

Treasures for a loser.

Author's Note

It's British spelling, so if you're American just ignore it

Reviews

[Gray]

Who cares I say. In the long run, I'll bet you turn out better than any of them.

Just watch that last line. It almost sounds like you're saying the trophies are the only things you've ever won.

Today, in Year Eleven, I watched classmates win trophies
and realized the only things I'd ever won
were footballs and sulphur stickmen.

[Beth]

Yeah thanks. I did think that about the last line but didn't know how to fix it. thank you x

[Gray]

I knew it wouldn't be two lines like the others but I figured I'd mention it anyway. You're real good Beth.

[Beth]

Thanks. I didn't copy your suggestion directly but I think I've fixed the problem

[Gray]

Hmm I wonder about that last line. It might be too pessimistic sounding.

[Beth]

it's a pretty pessimistic poem i hate to say

[Gray]

Okay, if you prefer that. Hope more review it.

[Carolynn]

Aww - I relate to this in quite a different way but know the feelings of inadequacy - I think you should cherish the little stickman (give him the football to throw around) :)

[spenderlou]

You always do a really good job of conveying emotions. Your writing is really a treat to read.