the feeling inside

Your hand in mine

For all of time

Please guide me through

As I never want to be without you

You’re the breath in my body

You’re the beat in my heart

I’ve been waiting for this feeling

That I’m slowly revealing

I need to hold you

A need that’s become overdue

You’ve opened my eyes

To the feelings I have inside

 

Reviews

[J Harding]

Hey there,

This piece is brilliant, it's concise without being too short, and there is a lot of meaning in each line.

A couple of additions, purely based on the flow of the piece:
(As I never want to be without you) becomes ( I never want to be without you)
(A need that's become overdue) becomes ( A need that's overdue)

Other than those two small thing I think this piece is excellent, well written and presented :)