I crash landed here, please forgive me.

A Story by Sunny

Just a little memoir. (yes, I have uploaded this on Stars Rite!)

I knew I was the odd one out when people would look through me as if I were nothing but the oxygen they inhaled. I was the alien who somehow made its way down to earth, disguised as some idea of what a human should be. My eyes were dark and sullen, without realisation I had given myself the facade of a sad, misfortunate little human who felt too much emotion in which they had not the ability to express themselves freely, due to my own developed fear of being perceived by the gaze and mind of those amongst me.

I found out about God at an early age�" He was taught to us, almost enforced upon our very beings. I, in no way have the intention to mock Him. However, beneath the skin and tissue of my masked body; I was nonetheless, the same alien. I knew too much about space to believe in a creator who would cure all my ills similar to that of an antibiotic. I could not forgive myself for all that I did or didn’t do, what good would it be if someone else forgave me?

I learned the hard way that some people simply give no care for small or great things. They were mentally incapable to picture themselves in the shoes of others. It wasn’t their fault, of course. After all, they were human and I were not. I considered the thought that it isn’t their fault, it’s the impact that wraps itself around the world which influences those around them.

It’s similar to growing up and realising how the sun doesn’t shine bright every day, and how much of a rare occurrence it is to see a rainbow. Or how fewer times you get told I love you by your parents as you grow up. When you catch a friend acting different when around a group of people�" realising that maybe everyone else is in desperate need to fit in amongst the same species.

I’m aware of how different I am. And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t afraid to find out exactly what it is. I’d accept myself nonetheless, for those past versions of myself who had to deal with this anger, confusion, sadness, and exclusion for being the way they were. For struggling with who they were. I will avenge my past selves and rock the future gently in my arms even if it seems as if there is nothing at all there.