Bring Back Yesterday

If I could bring back yesterday

There are so many things I would change

Things would finally go my way

I would take back what I had said

So what am I afraid of?

Let’s go change the past, at last

 

Where would I start?

How I would I do it at all?

If were to fall

Would I change the future?

How much would I obscure?

Or would I be trapped?

With no way out

With every locked door

And I forgot what I was here for

 

Maybe it was something that I missed

Maybe there was one more kiss

The answers underneath my skin

And I can’t find the itch

Where should I begin?

At the start or at the end

So here we go let’s erase all of our sins

 

I don’t want to see tomorrow

Can we stay here with-out any sorrow?

I took yesterday just to burrow

You can have it back

I realize that I don’t need to change the past

Reviews

[Sir Joe]

One more thing. Why don't you try to get out of your comfort zone? 'Coz it seems like you've been used to using only the simple language. Try making some defamiliariazation of words/lines. For example: instead of saying "I wrote a poem", try saying "I dipped my brush into a bowlful of words and painted a poem",,,Imagistic, eh?
Also, try to work on making your poems show rather than tell. (=

[Brandon Mathis]

thanks for the reveiw check out my latest poms i think you might like them

[BorealPoet]

Another great message. This is something I struggle with, forgetting your past so it really reached me good work!

[Brandon Mathis]

I'm honored that it reached you, thank you very much

[Sir Joe]

NIce!
Just a suggestion. Why don't you try to use some words which would let the readers see. Your poem would be better if it shows rather than tells. Make it sound more poetic by having a shift from simple to deeper language. I just noticed in your poems that the language is so simple. However, your works are still good, but you can also make them better.
Good work.(=

[Brandon Mathis]

I've been writing poems/songs for 10 years and i still don't know everything

[Sir Joe]

It's ok. Constant correct practice makes perfect. Everything doesn't happen in a snap. (= Don't be discouraged to write more. If writing is your passion, keep the fire burning! And don't you ever feel that your poems suck 'coz they don't. Your pieces are good, Brandon. (=

[Sir Joe]

One more thing. Why don't you try to get out of your comfort zone? 'Coz it seems like you've been used to using only the simple language. Try making some defamiliariazation of words/lines. For example: instead of saying "I wrote a poem", try saying "I dipped my brush in a bowlful of words and painted a poem",,,Imagistic, eh?
Also, try to work on making your poems show rather than tell. (=

[The dark story]

well it's quite true that we want to change or erase some of our actions of "Yesterday".....but yes we must realise that changing the past can do nothing as it has already gone.so we must always try to make a better future....because when we would go back in the past to change something.we wold lost our way there because e would find fault in so many things that we've done....


Would I change the future?
How much would I obscure?
Or would I be trapped?
With no way out
With every locked door
And I forgot what I was here for


i liked this line the most.......i should say that i would definitely read out this poem in my school(if you don't mind)in the competition..i wish i would have read this when i took part in the elocution competition few months ago.it's worth reading......

don’t want to see tomorrow
Can we stay here with-out any sorrow?
I took yesterday just to burrow
You can have it back
I realize that I don’t need to change the past

THE LAST STANZA IS SORELY TRUE.........

HATS OFF TO YOU..
KEEP WRITING LIKE THIS.....

[Brandon Mathis]

I'm honored of how much you love my poems it inspires me to write more