Feelings

Poem about my mixed emotions...:0) This was written when I was about 15 or 16 years old. I posted it because I can still recall how I felt when writing this.

My feelings, how can I describe them?
Happy emotions? No, but I wish I had some!

 

I'm imagining things far beyond imagination
Floating on thin air-all around God's creation

 

Drifting-like a sailboat at sea
I look at my reflection-but I know that's not me

 

What do I do now, to compose my thoughts?
I dig deep within myself-Dear God, don't let me get lost!

 

Help me to regain my inner strength
Help to reach out to the greatest length

 

Ever possible-for me to touch
Just give me wisdom-I don't ask for much

 

Just enough to get my on by
For I try to look happy-but my eyes don't lie

 

But I do KNOW, I'm gonna be ok
Because I have the Almighty God to get me through each day!

 

Written by: LaTanya M. Scott

 

Reviews

[Trystan]

I thought it was OK. Scince I'm not Christian it ain't really my cup of tea . . . but, I liked some of the symbolism you used, like:

"Drifting-like a sailboat at sea
I look at my reflection-but I know that's not me"

I might ditch the rhyme, though. Sometimes rhyme can trivialise the subject of the poem (which, for a poem about having no happy feelings, it can do). For example:

"My feelings, how can I describe them?
Happy emotions? No, but I wish I had some!"

Would also change "emotions" with "feelings" - the repetition can create a better flow.

Well, those are my criticisms. I hope you find them constructive, but you can feel free to ignore them, o' course.


- Trystan